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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Child maintenance advice please 🙏🏻

4 replies

sunflower10x · 05/08/2023 08:55

advice please, my ex partner hasn’t paid for the children in 2 years, said if I leave he’ll never pay a penny again which I accepted as a life with him would be worse and that seemed a small price to pay. After a year of rebuilding my life and a restraining order which changed my life immensely! I’m so much happier and more confident so I thought “no this isn’t right why shouldn’t he pay” so I contacted csa and they set up a payment plan which of course he didn’t pay once they then switched to collect and pay directly from the employer which has still never been paid, I believe the “employer” is a friend. The arrears are going up and up of course and csa tell me they’ll take action etc but I’ve never heard of anyone actually going to court, loosing their driving licence etc does anyone know if it is a lost cause or will something eventually be done. I know it’s the last little bit of control he has over me so he will cling on to it for as long as possible. Thank you for reading x

OP posts:
YetAnotherBeckyMumsnet · 05/08/2023 14:00

Hello @sunflower10x - we're moving your thread to the Relationships board now.

MaxwellCat · 05/08/2023 15:02

Good luck. Its been 6 years for me and no maintenance payments at all. Cms won't do anything about it.

Andthereyougo · 05/08/2023 15:14

Sorry you’re having to put up with this awful treatment from him. Only thing I can think of is contact your MP to put a rocket up CMS. https://members.parliament.uk/members/Commons shows you how to find your MP and then contact details.
I think a solicitor would just cost you more money and not guarantee anything back.

HotIce · 05/08/2023 15:14

CMS was set up because CSA had so much in uncollected arrears, it was showing them up for the embarrassingly ineffective entity that they were. CMS, after just a few years, has a similar amount of arrears uncollected just to give an idea about how much more effective they’ve turned out to be. I firmly believe that this is allowed to happen because it primarily affects women and children.

Contact your MP. That was the only way I managed to get them to take action. In the end, I got all the arrears from the sale of the marital property - it came out of his share and he had to agree as CMS had no jurisdiction over the money. He only agreed because I refused to give him the rest of his share and he knew he’d have to take me to court and they’d probably order him to pay it anyway.

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