Silent treatment

[Anotherloadofwashing]

I really need to vent, sorry if this is a bit long. I have just come home from a short break with our primary age child. Older dcs (18 and 17) stayed at home with DH. DH and eldest dc working all week. 17 yo has disabilities and has no job. When I got home, house was a mess. No food in the house to make up a meal. I told 17 yo off for her laziness and we cleaned up, she went to shop for pasta.

When DH got home he asked me what I was cooking and commented "pasta again?" We argued because I said I would have expected him to have got some shopping in and why was the house such a mess. He said he had cleaned up last night, he was working and I should tell dd because she's the one who was at home. When I asked him what he had planned to do for dinner he looked at me like I was mad and said he hadn't PLANNED anything for dinner as though this was a really stupid suggestion. I also work FT and normally keep on top of basic housework/shopping/meal planning.

He has since given me the silent treatment and to the point youngest DC was asking "why won't dad come downstairs?" Tbh I feel like he's just grabbed any excuse to give me the silent treatment, he has a history of doing this when I've been out without him/enjoyed myself. DC was so full of excitement about our holiday and DH barely spoke to him, that's the thing that's really wound me up.

He's insulted because his Domestic Appliance went on holiday and having suffered without it, he was very much looking forward to the moment it walked back through the door and normal service resumed.

Not an attractive trait in a man.

Tediously immature tosser territory. Is this how you want it to be when your DC leave home? You've only got one life and your DH sounds passive aggressive controlling. Not good for you and a bad example to DC who can feel this is how to be treated or treat others.

Your husband is a twat.

Working all week does not prevent him from being able to buy, prepare and cook food to feed himself and other people (including you).

Has he been waiting for the laundry fairy to arrive home from holiday as well?

Maybe you need to go on strike.

I agree that your DH is a twat, but if someone else always does it (ie you,) then it's hardly surprising that he doesn't realise he's expected to do it this time. But yes, silent treatment to DS? Twat.

Yes . It's the silent treatment to your DS, who was probably very excited about his holiday and wanting to tell Dad all about it, however he can't because Dad is hiding upstairs being a prick
I wouldn't even try talking to him, let his childish arse stay up there. He's being a shit role model for his kids as well as a shit H

@Merapi dcs did some of their laundry while I was away. He hasn't even put the clean stuff away from when I left, he has just moved the pile upstairs and dumped it on my dressing table.

You told your 17 year old off because everyone left the house a mess?
So you went on holiday, and couldn’t clean, so your child gets in trouble because SHE didn’t clean up after your lazy ass husband?

@Dotcheck She got told off because she told me she been asked to empty the dishwasher and at 3pm in the afternoon it still wasn't emptied. A 17 yo who is at home all day long should do some jobs rather than sitting on Netflix all day. Emptying/loading the dishwasher is always the dcs job when they're at home and we're at work.

Other than that I would have expected DH to at least prepare meals (getting food in where necessary) and do some housework. He is the one that feels DC should have done it because she's at home all day, not me. DC had already cooked one meal during the few days I was away, DH cooked nothing.

Fuck that shit. Are you still going to put up with this?

I know it is hard but ignore him. Make a meal for and DC and let him stew. He is being abusive and controlling.