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Original poster

Dodgy partner

12 replies

SENmum88 · 03/08/2023 19:30

So Iv recently found out, my close neighbour is pregnant with her partner.
They've become really friendly and rekindled their friendship with another couple who lives opposide them and they have a baby.
Any way I started noticing and other neighbours that my close friend whose pregnant partner has been getting quite close to the other woman friend. Sitting outside late just the two of them. Noticing him looking at her bum.
Then recently discovered a message was found on the girls phone, messages from my close friends partner saying "what are you wearing today babe"
The lady's partner reacted badly and was getting anxiety attacks and decided my close friend and her partner aren't aloud in their house anymore! But my close friend doesn't know a thing. Couldn't understand what the issue was.

Anyway yesterday they all went into the house and sorted " things out"
And have been in and out of each others houses.
Yet the pregnant close friend of mine still doesn't know! The neighbours want to keep it that way! 🙈
I think she has a right to know! What a scum bag he is!! But if I get involved all hell could break loose! But she's a close friend, Iv been through bad times with her, with her loosing her mum.

Her partner is a vile human being! A typical narcissist! Speaks to her like crap! Controls the house hold and wants to change everything! I can't stand the sight of him. Bearing in mind my close friend works her butt off! While he's with the "her lady friend" while she's at work, hoffering all the time around her!
Yet my dear friend still has no idea!
It's eating away at me. If she does end up finding out it could come back on me for not telling her. I just don't know what to do?! Right now I want to go for him!

OP posts:
Kpcs · 03/08/2023 19:37

Tell her

Dombasle · 03/08/2023 19:44

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something2say · 03/08/2023 19:55

Tbh I'd look away and deliberately not try to know anything - then just watch it all unfold and help pick up the pieces. Poor woman.

Original poster
SENmum88 · 03/08/2023 23:05

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Wow jumping the gun abit! I'm just a caring friend that happens to be a neighbour. Asking for advice...

OP posts:
Original poster
SENmum88 · 03/08/2023 23:06

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Plus it's hard not to miss when they are literally all sat outside my house, as we live in tight nit area

OP posts:
SunflowerTed · 03/08/2023 23:09

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This was my thought. You really need to get a life of your own

GreyCarpet · 04/08/2023 06:14

Why on earth are you noticing these things and getting involved with stuff that has fuck all to do with you?

I thought this too.

Plus it's hard not to miss when they are literally all sat outside my house, as we live in tight nit area

Well then get a job or a hobby so you've got something better to do. Curtain twitching is not a valid pasttime.

supercali77 · 04/08/2023 06:46

I usually always say 'tell them' but your issue is, this is happening next door and the man involved is controlling and showing signs of being abusive. If you talk, there are a lot of things that could go badly - for her and for you.

The only way telling her helps is if the info prompts her to boot him out, but sadly I think you'll be losing that one. The couple don't want it known and she's pregnant. I think you'd probably end up being #1 enemy in this scenario.

Personally I would instead encourage her to see how her partner is, how she deserves better, support her through pregnancy, and keep an eye on her.

Original poster
SENmum88 · 04/08/2023 18:14

supercali77 · 04/08/2023 06:46

I usually always say 'tell them' but your issue is, this is happening next door and the man involved is controlling and showing signs of being abusive. If you talk, there are a lot of things that could go badly - for her and for you.

The only way telling her helps is if the info prompts her to boot him out, but sadly I think you'll be losing that one. The couple don't want it known and she's pregnant. I think you'd probably end up being #1 enemy in this scenario.

Personally I would instead encourage her to see how her partner is, how she deserves better, support her through pregnancy, and keep an eye on her.

Thank you for your message!
I think this is the best way forward. I really don't want anything coming back on me.

OP posts:
Original poster
SENmum88 · 04/08/2023 18:16

GreyCarpet · 04/08/2023 06:14

Why on earth are you noticing these things and getting involved with stuff that has fuck all to do with you?

I thought this too.

Plus it's hard not to miss when they are literally all sat outside my house, as we live in tight nit area

Well then get a job or a hobby so you've got something better to do. Curtain twitching is not a valid pasttime.

Nice bit of judgment there...
You must be a very nice person to past this kind of judgment.
Yes I have a job. My weakness is helping others. Shame people like yourself are so quick to comment out of negativity and not kindness.

OP posts:
GreyCarpet · 04/08/2023 18:19

SENmum88 · 04/08/2023 18:16

Nice bit of judgment there...
You must be a very nice person to past this kind of judgment.
Yes I have a job. My weakness is helping others. Shame people like yourself are so quick to comment out of negativity and not kindness.

Show quote history

I'm perfectly kind. But I'm not a 'people pleaser', no.

You need some boundaries.

Merapi · 04/08/2023 18:23

My advice would be to keep completely out of it and pretend you know absolutely nothing at all. Not your circus, not your monkeys.

If your close neighbour/friend is being abused by her partner, then that is a different matter, so let her know that you are there for her if she ever needs to talk.

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