So long story short I left my partner of 5 years (fiance) back in May. He was gaslighting, abusive mentally and verbally and had even been violent (breaking a door down and grabbing me but never hitting) once and broken things that were mine a couple of times. I had also found him online sexting very soon after the start of our relationship.
I stayed for 5 years and we bought a house 1 year ago, within months he was bullying me and telling me to get out of my own home, telling me I needed to adhere to housekeeping tasks as he set them etc.
His issue with me was that I walked away during arguments, normally because he wouldn't hear my side of things and repeatedly called me mental and told me it was all in my head. He blame shifted and dismissed constantly. On top of that it'd been two years engaged (I said I wouldn't live with him unless there was plans to marry) and he was completely unbothered about setting a date, I see it as a blessing now.
He ended things with me after a huge row, told me I had to "fight for him" if I wanted him back and I refused because he was basically telling me that I had to agree he wasn't abusive when I know damn well he was. He told me to leave the house (joint owner so he had no right to do that) and told me that he wasn't going anywhere.
Eventually I broke down in tears at work and decided enough was enough.
He shat himself when I told him I was getting a solicitor involved, and the solicitor told me to go for occupational rent and tell him that if he covered the mortgage I wouldn't pursue it (I had my own expenses to pay). He is angry I don't pay the mortgage but as far as i'm concerned I was forced out, I was paying half of it before I had to leave.
I went and removed all my furniture from the house yesterday and sold it to a second hand furniture company. He was furious. The house was full of empty wine bottles and I found a card from some 25 year old that works for him saying she loved him so that just told me everything I needed to know.
Honestly, it is just a bit of a shock that he has been so vile to me, and that even after all the doubt he's instilled in me and how he's insisted i'm mentally ill and my perspective is "skewed" that he can do that kind of thing and still act like i'm making it up. I saw it with my own eyes and still he acts like I'm just nuts.
Honestly I don't even know how people like this function and if they believe the things they say or if they know they're full of shit.