My sister and I were high achievers, academically. We both have PhDs. Neither of us have ended up working in our fields. Our parents were always inordinately, massively proud of our achievements: my mum loved to boast about us, my dad loved having nice, good, clever girls 🙄.
for various reasons (living abroad, language barriers, disability, being a SAHM for a while) I don’t really have a career. I have a job - it’s mundane, not well paid, but I quite enjoy it and it fits well in our family life. But it’s nothing to boast about. It’s the job that’s in front of me, and I’m doing it.
we are staying with my parents on holiday. talking to my dad tonight, I got a clear feeling that he’s really disappointed in the way my working life has panned out. It’s like he’s offended on my behalf that my employers don’t recognise my obvious brilliance and reward it with promotions and raises? And that I’m lowering myself to do this job?
their expectations put so much pressure on us when growing up. It’s made me utterly suspicious of praise and it drove my sister to a breakdown, depression and lots of therapy when her own career didn’t work out the way she hoped.
anyone recognise this? Clever, high achievers who didn’t live up to expectations? How do I get past it? We only see then a couple of times a year, which helps.