When Prince Charming becomes a Smelly Ogre

[HiImMrsShrek]

This is meant to be a semi-lighthearted thread😉
When I met dh back in the day, I thought he was dashing, I was very attracted to him. Tall, dark blonde & handsome. In my eyes a young Bruce Willis.😏 I remember him having nice clothes, a trim beard, a nice smell. I know I've seen him in the shower, I know he owns a toothbrush.
Fast forward 20+ years and I realise I am now married to someone who wouldn't look out of place in a homeless shelter (no offence to homeless people)
He has been wearing the same shorts for 3 weeks now. He doesn't shower daily, so doesn't change underwear daily either🤢
He doesn't wash his hands properly or often enough, I know this because the hand towels are always filthy.
His pillow cases smell like head🤢
His personal hygiene is shocking quite honestly.
Needless to say my rose-tinted spectacles have long since vanished.
Just me living with a smelly ogre or are there more out there?

No OP! This is not normal at all, lazy or underlying issue, you need to have a word.

I couldn’t cope this this.

Could he be depressed?

I couldn't live with this.

I wouldn't want to share a bedroom with that, let alone a bed

That's not even close to being normal, like pp say is he having mental health issues? If not then that's disgusting, he really disrespects you

No health issues.
We don't share a bed. We have separate rooms, have done for years due to my light sleeping and him snoring. I can still hear him farting through the wall at night though.

It's normal to occasionally let things slide a bit in the way of appearance and effort of course. But this sounds much more extreme than that. He's not wearing clean underwear or washing himself, that's disgusting - as awful as it is you must sit him down and talk with him about this. I'd be giving an ultimatum - have a wash or I'm off

Ewwwwwww! Is this how you want to live the rest of your life?

No, not normal.
DH doesn’t much like fashion and he sometimes misses a shower or shave 1 day but he generally smells nice , changes undies and T-shirt daily and the bits I can see are clean.

does he wfh? Hope he doesn’t inflict this on colleagues!

I must admit I don’t shower daily since wfh full time … usually every other day. My skin is happier for it. But your DH sounds bad!

You have ... Drum Roll ... The Ick.

Do you say anything to him like " Those shirts need to go in the wash ,they're filthy?!"

3 weeks!!!!! Eurghhhhh

gross!

If you're absolutely sure he's not depressed, then it's ultimatum time.

In my eyes a young Bruce Willis.😏

Firstly, he sounds absolutely disgusting.

Secondly, I can’t get past the above. BW was neither blonde nor particularly tall.

Yep, you are now married to a dirty old man. Are you ok to stay married to an unwashed, smelly old fart, or did you envision something better in your middle/old age? Have you tried talking to him about raising his hygiene goals?

How on Earth could this be a lighthearted thread? Did you think other women were going to say, yes, mines just the same, the wee tyke, what are they like, eh? Tch,tch?

This is truly gross.
Do you still love him?
If yes, a huge talk is needed.
If no, please separate asap.

He’s a grim, dirty bastard. Ugh.

OP I'm sadly in a similar situation. DH used to be extremely attractive and had a flair for dressing well. He is depressed following FIL's death a few years ago but the decline started during the pandemic. He wears trousers with holes in the crotch, burps and farts constantly and showers infrequently. I know it's shallow but I'm so disappointed.

Sorry, but was Bruce Willis ever tall and blond ? 😂

When I said lighthearted I was actually hoping to sound lighthearted.
I am really struggling in all honesty. I know he has become disgusting and lazy. I know he is also not depressed, just very uninterested in most things.
I am so embarrassed by him and for him. I'm disappointed and angry with him. I know I should have a talk with him but how do you sit a grown man down and tell him to wash more?

@HiImMrsShrek in all seriousness I think you sit him down and tell him exactly what you’ve said here. You care for him, and you are disappointed that he seems to have stopped caring for himself. Remind him of how he used to like to dress. How proud he was of his hair, trimmed beard, aftershave, whatever.

My guess is he feels like there’s no point in bothering. You need to remind him what attracted you to him, and make him see that some of that spark can be rekindled, if he would like it to be. Tell him how disappointed you are, but let him know that you’re most disappointed that he doesn’t seem to care for himself, more than that he’s not bothering for you. Does he work? Does he meet up with friends? Tell him you are mentioning it because you care for him, and you KNOW he would be embarrassed/disappointed if his friends/workmates/family had to stage an intervention. Good luck.