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Original poster

Where do I meet men?

18 replies

Undecicive · 02/08/2023 10:55

A stupid title, I know, they're everywhere...
I'm in the process of separating from my husband. I'm 46, two kids, in the middle of career change.
My chosen career is in healthcare, mostly women there. My hobbies (yoga, gym, reading) are generally solitary activities. It's not my priority at this moment to meet someone but I feel like there's zero chance of meeting anybody like this.
From what I read on here, OLD is not like it was 15-20 years ago.
Do I need to take up a new hobby? I just feel like this was probably it for me... which makes me quite sad.

OP posts:
Tangerinedreams3 · 02/08/2023 11:03

Not stupid. Your problem is finding the time and not having any spare capacity as a single mum.
The place to meet decent men is sports clubs, cycling, running, golf, sailing etc. This is where normal late 40s and early 50s men hang out and ones that look after themselves and who are sociable and normal.
My problem is not having the time to integrate into the clubs/sessions.
If you are a mum shirt of time there is OLD, but online you will attract guys 10 years older who feel entitled to a younger woman. Often overweight misogynistic and looking for sex.
The decent guys are not online.
Let me know if you find the answer. I wish I could

VanillaSox · 02/08/2023 11:14

I met a man in the street yesterday 🤣 was on my bike looking for a friends house. He was getting into a car parked outside /looked nice and smiled and asked me if was lost. I told him I wasn't sure about the number and asked him if he was a neighbor. He said no but his wife lives opposite.
Asked him his name and when my friend came t the door for a bit of sport I introduced him to her. She was clearly baffled and thought he must be someone I was beonging for her to meet... She asked how long we knew each other and he said he was about to drive away when a beautiful woman came hurtling past on her bike looking lost... He then volunteered (again) that his wife lives opposite (SW London) and he lives in Brighton... I thanked him for his help in keeping me company on my milliseconds of anxiety over the house, we all smiled and said goodbye.
He seemed nice. Maybe our paths will cross again or not, but little interchanges like that just keep me in practice for when itmight be useful 🤣

EmmaDial · 02/08/2023 11:37

Where do I meet men?
Where do men meet in your area? Sports clubs?
Rifle target shooting. 99% men. Solid middle of the road reliable types like my BIL.

Any Heritage or historic railways near you? 75% men all ages. They always want Volunteers. Some of these blokes are genuine pleasant people. Lived next door to one who was. I went along for a year and helped with the gardening, lovely display of hanging baskets
It will get you into a social niche and then the possibility of friend of a friend.

VanillaSox · 02/08/2023 13:02

Definitely friend of a friend is best scenario

GreyCarpet · 02/08/2023 13:40

Friends of friends and hobbies seem to work out best IME.

I joined a band. 6 years later, and I've been with the singer for 2 years. Not very original 🤣 but it's worked for us. I'm 48.

GreyCarpet · 02/08/2023 13:45

The place to meet decent men is sports clubs, cycling, running, golf, sailing etc. This is where normal late 40s and early 50s men hang out and ones that look after themselves and who are sociable and normal.

That only works if these are you type of man! Wouldn't interest me at all!

Find something you're interested in, OP.

Choirs are good. Not necessarily because you'll meet a man (there's a dearth of men in choirs!) But there are lots of women! Women who have friends, sons, brothers, in laws... you get the picture. And you might meet some lovely new women along the way too.

Swing dance lessons. Lots of very attractive men to he found there! They're not meat markets by any means and seeing them as pick up opportunities is frowned upon in the community (so little in the way of sleazy behaviour- it's just not tolerated) but plenty of relationships.

Original poster
Undecicive · 02/08/2023 17:38

Thank you all! I definitely won't be able to afford sailing but it's obvious I need to step out of my current comfort zone.

OP posts:
fancreek · 02/08/2023 18:24

VanillaSox · 02/08/2023 11:14

I met a man in the street yesterday 🤣 was on my bike looking for a friends house. He was getting into a car parked outside /looked nice and smiled and asked me if was lost. I told him I wasn't sure about the number and asked him if he was a neighbor. He said no but his wife lives opposite.
Asked him his name and when my friend came t the door for a bit of sport I introduced him to her. She was clearly baffled and thought he must be someone I was beonging for her to meet... She asked how long we knew each other and he said he was about to drive away when a beautiful woman came hurtling past on her bike looking lost... He then volunteered (again) that his wife lives opposite (SW London) and he lives in Brighton... I thanked him for his help in keeping me company on my milliseconds of anxiety over the house, we all smiled and said goodbye.
He seemed nice. Maybe our paths will cross again or not, but little interchanges like that just keep me in practice for when itmight be useful 🤣

But....wife?!

BrightBlueSea · 02/08/2023 21:49

OP - you say that you can't afford sailing but in a way that's ideal. Many sailing clubs will let you join without a boat. You can volunteer to crew for others. People are always looking for crew.

Alcemeg · 02/08/2023 22:15

Small independent music festivals, make sure you spend the whole weekend there

VanillaSox · 03/08/2023 07:05

fancreek · 02/08/2023 18:24

But....wife?!

Show quote history

Yes but the point is that brief pleasant interchanges with strangers keep you in practice with being open to new people and those pleasant strangers (and their wives) becomes acquaintances with brothers/friends etc...

Original poster
Undecicive · 03/08/2023 07:37

Unfortunately these kind of encounters never happened to me, apart from probably drunk people or old men noone called me beautiful, tried to chat me up in Tesco etc. I am a friendly person and people trust and talk to me but not with the intention of flirting etc.

OP posts:
Thisisworsethananticpated · 03/08/2023 07:46

Gym , sports clubs and sorry - OLD

VanillaSox · 03/08/2023 19:45

Also ‘Meetup’groups. Lots of different interest groups and again just a way of meeting people with similar interests to expand social life and interactions

acpk55 · 03/08/2023 19:51

Bike meets, car meets etc

Dombasle · 03/08/2023 19:55

Meet more women through hobbies and interests and through that network you will be introduced to their male relatives, friends and colleagues and will have a background information about them from your friends.

VanillaSox · 03/08/2023 20:11

Dombasle · 03/08/2023 19:55

Meet more women through hobbies and interests and through that network you will be introduced to their male relatives, friends and colleagues and will have a background information about them from your friends.

Definitely this!!!!

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