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Original poster

Am I a bad friend

10 replies

Allbutone · 02/08/2023 05:19

So recently I separated from my partner due to it being abusive and toxic. During that time my sons birthday was coming up, I decided to throw him a small party with family only.
My friend messaged me and asked if I was free the day before my sons party.
I decided to invite her; however, I instantly regretted it then quickly changed my mind and uninvited her the next day and said that the party was cancelled. Which was true! It was meant to be a mums but decided to do it at mines last min.
The next day she saw posts of my sons party, which my sister and SIN posted.
Since then I haven't discussed it with her and she hasn't asked me. It has been awkward.
This was a few moths ago. She has retaliated by not inviting me to a private party she had.
Am I in the wrong?

OP posts:
MaggieBsBoat · 02/08/2023 05:23

I think if you don’t address the elephant in the room then you are.
Why did you do this in any case. It’s odd. You need to speak to her otherwise it looks really bad. I would feel really sad if this were done to me.

Original poster
Allbutone · 02/08/2023 05:24

MaggieBsBoat · 02/08/2023 05:23

I think if you don’t address the elephant in the room then you are.
Why did you do this in any case. It’s odd. You need to speak to her otherwise it looks really bad. I would feel really sad if this were done to me.

It has been a while now! It just feels awkward.
It is quite odd but I wasn't in the right headspace to be honest.

OP posts:
Original poster
Allbutone · 02/08/2023 05:33

What would the best way to go about this be?

OP posts:
MaggieBsBoat · 02/08/2023 05:37

i think it’s depends on how you normally communicate. But if it’s going to be hard to say it all clearly and honestly then an email is a good shout.
i once had to apologise to a friend and we weren’t talking very well at the time so I sent a very heartfelt email saying sorry and explaining what had been going on in my head.
The fact that this was months ago but it’s still there shows it has grown legs so to speak. You care about her and made a mistake. Just be honest.

Ahwhatthehell · 02/08/2023 06:42

I think it’s time to take the bull by the horns and own your mistake op. You were obviously in a stressful phase back then. Maybe text her and explain how you weren’t in a great frame of mind at the time. Tell her it’s really playing in your mind because the last thing you’d want to do is upset her. Apologise. Nobody’s perfect, but I do think you should address it and say sorry.

pilates · 02/08/2023 06:49

Yes, because you lied. You don’t treat friends like that. Apologise but don’t be surprised if it’s not the same.

tuvamoodyson · 02/08/2023 08:16

But the party wasn’t cancelled?? Yes, imo, you’re in the wrong.

Scienceadvisory · 02/08/2023 09:48

I don't understand why you lied about the party being cancelled. You were meant to be meeting your friend the day before so the party seems irrelevant.

AnneLovesGilbert · 02/08/2023 09:51

pilates · 02/08/2023 06:49

Yes, because you lied. You don’t treat friends like that. Apologise but don’t be surprised if it’s not the same.

Exactly. You should feel awkward!

CurlewKate · 02/08/2023 09:56

So you invited her to something. Then uninvited her with a lie and get found out. Now you're wondering why she didn't invite you to her party. Is that right?

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