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Original poster

Commitment phobe it seems...??

10 replies

Uncertain007 · 01/08/2023 22:15

Hi
Met a guy online looking for a LTR, settle down. 5 months of dating and we got on so well together.
He treated me like we were in a relationship (ie exclusive, lovely messages each day, met regularly).
Red flags-5 months on didn't want to label things "labels create expectations"
Never opened up emotionally eg wouldn't declare his love
Preferred to take things slow

I got fed up with it so ended things, saying what a nice guy he is and how he'll find someone with the same outlook.

Haven't spoken in weeks. I'm confused. I know his ex suddenly left him just before getting a house together. Has this damaged him? Commitment phobic or...you tell me.

He still likes my posts on insta and views my stories. Thing is I dated 16 guys and he is the one who i felt a strong connection with .

I really miss him but I shouldn't have to beg for a relationship. I am on dating sites (again lol)

OP posts:
littlebopeepp234 · 02/08/2023 02:10

More like he suddenly left his ex before getting a house together. Yes he seems like a typical commitophobe.

Vegandiva · 02/08/2023 02:12

Agree with PP it doesn’t matter why he is like he is, he’s a time wasting idiot, forget about him and onwards and upwards 🙂

Good luck out there 🤞🏻

lousyatchoosingnames · 02/08/2023 02:15

Yes there are lots of men like this, too scared to get too involved. Really, all they want is to have their cake and eat it. They want the fun and excitement of a relationship, the dates and the sex. But when it comes to settling down, sharing finances, sharing a home, etc, they tend to withhold. Essentially, they want everything their way to suit them.

He still likes your post because he likes you and wants to have sex with you. He doesn't necessarily want a fully committed relationship.

Move on my lovely, you deserve better.

MumGMT · 02/08/2023 03:12

I hope you can see that link. Watch and rewatch every day. Likes mean nothing, and he could be watching your story while sitting on the toilet scrolling through everyones.

DeeCeeCherry · 02/08/2023 03:20

"labels create expectations"

Cringe

whatthefuckisnext · 02/08/2023 07:33

As I've just learned the hard way. Mixed messages are a no.

GreyCarpet · 02/08/2023 07:42

Yep. Liking someone's SM means nothing. I've liked stuff by accident when scrolling through fb.

Whatever the reason, he's not interested. I'd remove him from SM.

CurlewKate · 02/08/2023 07:55

I don't think they're scared or a "phobe". I just think they want sex. Which is fine-so long as both people feel the same. But men don't go on dating sites and say "Fancy a shag?" They say "Looking for the one. For a relationship. I've been so hurt in the past-can you restore my faith in human nature?"

Pinkbonbon · 02/08/2023 11:00

Some people don't want commitment.

It's an odd leap to assume they are phobic.

More likely as pp said, they just want to have their cake and eat it.

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