I feel like I am going mad and feel
so low. I’m not sure if I’m dramatic, soft or making big deals out of things like I have been told.
Have just separated from Husband. I have a DC who he was step father too. Things kept coming up for a while.
Anger - which he blamed on his upbringing. Blowing up over the smallest things at me and DC.
Finances - had joint account but quizzed me over transactions when I work also.
Threatened to smash DC’s phone as ‘he’ pays for it when DC didn’t tidy room. Wouldn’t stop going in room even when I said don’t because it enrages him, he said he pays the bills, if DC is not in, will check if it’s clean or not.
Tried to give me a small budget for DC’s Christmas the other year. No discussion, he told me.
My stepchild (his child) birthday soon. He told him we would only be giving him £20 as SC is older. I said no we will give you a bit more or get you a present as well. Got told off saying “this is why the kids are like they are because you spoil them” not sure what “like they are” means as they are not perfect but they are not the worst either. Then got told I wasn’t “deciding” what they get.
Asked him as he was finished work at 2.30pm to put the oven on at around 4.30pm as I was doing roast chicken after work. Got in at 5pm, oven on but no chicken in. Said I thought you would have put the chicken in his response, “don’t talk to me about doing stuff around the house when my DC hadn’t washed up that day”.
Asked him when my Nan was dying in hospital to come, not necessarily to come in, (I work in that field and know some people can’t face that) but to wait in the waiting area for support. He started shouting at me that he carried a family members coffin when he was younger so I went alone.
Got upset one birthday as I always try and make a fuss of him and the kids even though they are older, even if it’s a Colin the caterpillar cake. I got a candle. He started shouting I didn’t think you would want a cake you’re on a diet, I will go and get you a f@*ck!n cake now then!! Told him not to bother.
Shouted at my DC once cos they pulled a face once and said who are you looking at like that????
I go the gym after work as we have a gym on site at work. Bearing in mind I dont do anything for myself so half an hour in the gym after work was a bit of self care and it’s free May I add. He had been working until 2.30pm this particular day so when I got home at 5.30pm, I asked him if he had started anything for tea, he hadn’t. I got a lecture saying it’s okay when you can just f@*k off to the gym after work and you’ve always got that car (we care share but he wouldn’t get a second run around for me to get to work cos it costs money)
The day after this, I got up in the morning to go to work and he had taken the car as it is in his name, I had no car and had to get a taxi to work.
Since this I have asked him to leave the house and I have bought myself a small run around car so I can get to work and my food shopping and took half the money out of our joint account.
It’s just me and my teenage DC at home now but I feel absolutely mental. I am questioning as to whether I have gone overboard or is this normal or am I just soft and take everything to heart. It’s like I am struggling to think straight. I am questioning my own bloody sanity.
Thanks for reading .