Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Would you bother trying again?

2 replies

Pastapoodles · 01/08/2023 16:17

I think I know the answer but I think I need to hear it from other people.

Had a friend for about 5 years, nice friendship, pleasant, not in each others pockets. Sometimes talk a lot other times will be months and then contact strikes back up again. No particular reason for this other than busy lives. Our times together are lovely, the ones where you don't want the night to end. Could be sitting in a pub for a casual drink or going out for dinner and it's all still really nice.

I've been getting increasingly frustrated and feeling its all a bit one sided, for example she has a crisis and wants to come over, fine I'm happy to be there. However the last few months I've been having an equally shitty time which is rare, normally her who has problems. Her problems are always the same, husband moans the house is a mess, doesn't do anything to sort it out, she moans he does nothing etc
Every time I reach out, she's always busy. I don't ask for much and it takes a lot to reach out so I think it hurts even more.
Our last contact was about 2 months ago, had a long convo catching up then both mutually agreed it would be good to catch up in person. I gave a list of dates I was free and asked if any of those matched up with her diary. Read. No reply.
It's not the first time something similar has happened and I get that sometimes people miss messages but she will reply eventually like the last message never existed, no 'I'm sorry I forgot to reply'. People are busy and stuff slips there mind, I think id just prefer some acknowledgement that's all. Especially when you are seeing that message again when finally replying? Is it just me?
Anyway I'm considering just letting this fizzle out now, it's seems a shame but I'm fed up of talking and then having weeks go by with no reply.
She's clearly not that into the friendship anymore is she?

OP posts:
anotherdisaster · 02/08/2023 20:18

Hi OP. I totally get this. I have a very similar friend. The older I get, the more I realise that its not a healthy relationship for me. I could just accept that she has different needs from our friendship than I do, but I'm finding it easier to just slowly contact her less and less. Its definitely more one-sided. I would honestly suggest you do the same. Stop initiating meet-ups with her. You don't have to cut contact but don't have any expectations of her going forward. Put yourself first.

Pastapoodles · 03/08/2023 09:06

Thankyou definitely needed to hear this.
I'm not planning on reaching out again but if she does then lovely and if anything materialises from it then great but I'm just not gonna give it much headspace anymore and see what happens

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread