My lovely brother is in his early fifties.
Has beautiful children with whom he shares custody.
Divorced four years and got into a relationship with another woman who is also divorced.
They were together for nearly two years.
She seemed lovely and friendly and gradually started spending more time at his. She lives 60 miles away.
His kids gradually spent less time at his as they felt pushed out.
She felt like he was too available to his kids beck and call.
This lady was subject to a serious sexual assault many many years ago and the perpetrator is in prison for that assault and other offences.
She told our family about it . We were naturally very upset and sympathetic towards her.
She refuses counselling or therapy. I can understand why. I expect the whole thing has been massively traumatic and of course she doesn't want to dig up all of those memories .
My brother adored her and they spoke of a future together .
However, he finished the relationship recently and while they've had major disagreements before , they've always made up.
He is genuinely gutted. It feel it's right.
She is devastated and keeps calling and contacting him, calling to his house unannounced and entering at all times of day and night.
She is contacting our family and is very angry and verbally aggressive, telling us things he has told her in confidence about our serious complex family issues. This has divided us a family .
It transpires that she was less than honest about her financial affairs and is indeed in hundreds and f thousands of pounds in debt. Doesnt own the home she said she did .
It also transpires that she has been cheating, emotionally and sexually.
My brother has told me... we are the very best of friends... that she has been in contact throughout their relationship with lots of men from her past and present and keeps consistent contact with all of them and meets them regularly and that she tells him regularly how all of these men find her very sexually attractive and want her. He says she enjoys the boost and cannot see why he was unhappy with this situation.
He is a shell.
Devastated and his self esteem is in his boots.
But now she has started again to arrive at his home and ringing him telling him that she regrets ever telling him about the sexual assault. He doesn't know why she is saying this but feels crippled with guilt and shame for finishing with her.
He is running around dropping things to her home, collecting packages for her during her work hours , listening to her goi g from rage to crying to pleading to reminiscing .
It's not my circus, I know that but he has t confided in anyone else and I really don't know how to support his as I know very little about sexual assault and its aftermath
.
Of course, I dont want this for him but feel so upset for her also.
How do I support and advise , as asked ?