Everything has changed

[Mama22b]

I don't know whether I'm after advice or just need to vent. I'm feeling a bit lonely I guess. My partner and I have been together for 15 years since we were teenagers so we grew up together. We have 2 beautiful children together - our youngest is just 6 months old so I understand the reason things have changed may be because of our new arrival.

I just feel we don't often see each other, we're like passing ships. He works a lot to provide for us as he's self employed and unfortunately cost of living has had an impact on finances and also I'm on maternity leave so my pay isn't great at the moment. He does a manual job so by the time he's home some nights he's exhausted. I find it hard because some days I feel lonely without the adult interaction all day (I do have a few mum friends) but I miss my partner. I've told him so and we keep trying to get time together - even just to watch a bit of tele in the evening but it just feels impossible as we both just end up falling asleep straight after the kids have gone to sleep or one of us does. Last night we finally sat down to watch some TV but he was asleep with in minutes, and this was on his only day off of the week. I know he's so tired and I am so thankful for him working so hard for us.
Getting family to babysit is tricky as my baby is breastfed and fussy about taking the bottle.
Our sex life is none existent. I feel some days I'm starting to resent him over silly stuff and the little things that wouldn't normally bother me get on my nerves.
It's not like us to be like this, like I said we grew up together and I feel sad that we feel like we're drifting. I miss him.
I know kids change relationships but after our first it didn't feel like our relationship was effected, if anything brought us closer. But this time I'm juggling both children and trying to keep up with the housework/meals/everything else and I feel like our relationship is just on the back burner. I don't feel like we're a team at the moment like we used to. I feel like I need him to make a bit more effort too but then I feel guilty for thinking that when he's so worn out with work.
Any body been in a similar situation and what did you do to help it?

Everybody with kids has been in a similar position, I feel. There will be lots of advice but I think the main one is to keep talking and trying to defuse resentment in both sides. You need to both listen to how the other feels. I think there isn't that much you can do practically for a couple of years but you must talk to stay as a team. Good luck

I think this is a stage everyone goes through. Working hard and having young kids is a very difficult stage and one not every couple makes through unfortunately.

No advice, just stick it out. Lean harder on family and friends to help support you and babysit.

Yes definitely went through this with our second. It's hard! But michelle Obama once said in her 30 or so years of marriage, 7 we're really hard/not good, but that means 23 we're great. Marriage is a marathon so hang in there and congrats on the baby xx