feeling a little better

[newmummy27]

after my other thread "at the end of my tether" thought i'd update.
since having son in november 2007 am beginning to realise why i have PND. i have always blamed myself for having depression, but am beginning to realise that the 2 most significant people in my life have been "bringing me down". My mam would call everyday, ask what i was doing, what i was eating, wanting to know everything and it is not until i have space from her, i realise actually how much she puts me down. i went to baby massage yesterday and a girl was nice to me. i am not used to people being nice to me or accepting it as i am always put down in my "home life". i came home last night and i really beleive my husband doesnt like it when i get a little confidence. does that make sense? i sometimes feel like my mam may aswell be married to my husband and i am sure she thinks she is the mother of my new son aswell, she always seems to criticise me and so i have PND. i sometimes feel they are ganging up on me. i need some independance again and the cnfidence to beleive people will like me. i have always cut myself off and not trusted due to relationship with mam. any friends i make she criticises them for something. i cannot even tell her what i have done without some comment and i have always blamed myself. i know it is time to break free i am 31, but how do i maintain what i started yesterday without just giving up or feeling guilty?

Bless you :-) I can so relate to your post.

It does sound as though you got a big boost yesterday from someone treating you as a 'grown up', an independednt woman with her mind of her own. Thats great! You maintain this by making sure you get more of the same, develop interests that get you out of the house and mixing with paople, meeting new people.

I think you probably have a low self esteem and maybe lack confidence, thats why feel your mum puts you down and take over. You have to find a way to communciate with your mum which, without being offensive to her and causing a fall out, shows her that you are more than capable of looking after your baby yourself, try not to take what she says so personally, don't soak it up like a sponge and let it affect your esteem.

As for your dh, sometimes men feel a little insecure when their other halves start getting a life for themselves but, that is no reason why you should not continue to blossom, come out of your shell and enjoy your life.

I think you are certainly on the right track. You keep up the good work! Try to get out of the house everyday, even if it's only taking the baby for a walk. Just saying 'hello' or smiling at a stranger as you pass on the street can work wonders too. Anything, to make you feel good about yourself!!

I too know how you feel and i am sure most have felt a bit like you at times too.

I tell my children that people are only nasty and looking the wrong in people when they are not completly happy with the way there lfe is.

I imagine that if i won the lottery would i still feel those niggling little feelings of irritation about others - i tthink i would be so 'high' i wouldnt give a monkeys about what anyone else was doing i would be just happy for myself. Does that make sense? If everything is rosy in your life you have no need to 'bring others down' in anyway whatsoever.

It sounds as if your h is feeling a bit insecure - is he threatened that you may like to spend time with others. Try and be possitive and maybe try and get you both to meet others together.