Found old boyfriend from nearly 50 years ago on FB and feel so unsettled

[Salome61]

I'm widowed, 66, and spend a lot of time on my own. I have got two busy adult kids who keep in touch regularly, but live too far away to see very often. I had to downsize when my husband died, and it's been a disaster, I'm still not settled here. Over the weekend I was at a loose end, and decided to look for an old boyfriend on FB from the early 70's.

So I was really pleased to find his profile. He's still married to this girl all these years later, and is having a fantastic life.

I can't work out why it's unsettled me - is it just one of those 'what ifs' we sometimes torture ourselves with?

Just popping in to say I'd discourage anyone else my age from contacting someone from so long ago.

So frustrating I can't remember so many things clearly, not sure if I dreamt some of it!

What happened OP? You seemed so pleased to have reconnected?

Does anyone remember 'Friends reunited'? Many years ago there were old bfs and gfs reconnecting on that site, lots of divorces due to people finding their 'one that got away'.

When you're alone, lonely, lots of time on your hands, it's easy to think 'what if' but we don't know do we, it's a bit of a fantasy.

There are definitely some people out there who have never really got over 'the one' and some do reconnect, but I think it's the exception rather than the rule.

Has anyone seen the film Serendipity? That made my heart melt..as much as I'm a realist, this was pure joy, and what dreams are made of..

Keep yourself busy OP..this is the beginning of the rest of your life

That's a shame it hasn't been a good experience for you, OP. But maybe you do remember things 'properly'? Memory is pretty subjective/specific, especially at this kind of distance. I remember our childhood very differently to my sisters, for instance, despite having the same parents and growing up in the same house. I think it's a combination of age difference, birth order, personality and the way we were 'constructed' by our parents as the 'plain, responsible one', 'pretty, popular one', 'rebel' etc.

I just reconnected with someone I last saw in 1987. Her memories of me are of a much more collected individual than I remember being in my mid-teens.

I'd be wary of dismissing your own memories as dreams.

Thank you @obladeeobladah, silly really, I just felt frustrated I couldn't remember the chronological order of events, but feel better now I've found my CV!

I remember Friends Reunited and also had some positive experiences @Breakingpoint1961. Thanks for the heads up about the film, I'll look that up.

@Paperclipped I think it's something to do with me needing to be 'organised' since my husband died. The chronological order of my memories are of no interest to anyone but me, but I feel better now. My parent's divorcing made me feel worthless and I went on a path of self destruction for some years afterwards. The friend I'm going to NZ with was always so forgiving during those years when I cancelled at the last minute - didn't even bother to cancel - I've always loved her for her unconditional love and friendship.