Another woman possible crush

[CrochetKnitNut]

What do you do if another woman seems intererested IYSWIM in your husband.

She seems a nice enough woman, she's married herself. She's a member of our dog walking group. She seems keen to meet up with DH when I'm not there for instance and when I am there she hurries away. Three other people at separate times have mentioned that she's asked them if they had seen our dog because she hadn't for a while. Her husband said to us she was 'always' mentioning our dog. I don't it's the dog she's interested in.

I don't want to say anything to DH because I don't want him to feel any awkwardness. I don't think he would know the difference between a crush and a friendly woman unless she made a move on him TBH. If I do nothing and wait for it to resolve itself, is that risky?

Without discussing the concerns with your husband you'll continue to have these thoughts. Why don't discuss this with him?

I'd mention it to him tbh.

If you're a close couple who talks about things then why wouldn't you?

It would be far more awkward for him if she made a move he wasn't expecting. Or asked him if he wanted to grab a coffee after a dog walk and he agreed thinking she was just being friendly but she wasn't.

She might not have a crush on him at all. She might just genuinely like him. Her hurrying away when you're there might be because she feels awkward and doesn't want you to suspect anything.

As pp says, if you don't talk about it, these thoughts are going to whirr around your head and likely escalate.

I thought it is better for just me to have these thoughts rather than for both of us to have these thoughts. I know it would put him on edge.

Forewarned is forearmed and all that.

She either has a crush on him or enjoys the attention he’s giving her, or both. I sympathise Op because it’s ridiculous when both parties are married. I swim with people who get these crushes on other swimmers and I’m like … wtf?? cause that’s surely not the reason you’ve visited the centre. People are ridiculous. I definitely think you should mention it to him - he will feel a lot more awkward if she makes a move.

Thanks @GreyCarpet and @Vallmo47 I think I might casually mention it. Make light of it.

I would talk to him about it. There's a woman we know who told my husband she had feelings for him years ago. Occasionally she'll get back in touch and my husband and I joke about how she's ready to leave her husband and run off with mine. I think it's better for him to be aware she might be thinking things like this, as he's pretty clueless and without me pointing it out she could pretty much throw herself at him without him realising she was coming on to him!

Absolutely talk to you husband about it. It will feel much less of a burden when you can talk and yes, laugh, about it together.

DH is no oil painting but has attracted a disproportionate number of crushes over his life. It's easy for me to spot them now, I put it down to him being friendly but quiet and a great listener.

Once he said that he really didn't welcome the attention and would be glad if they would stop, he was open to suggestions on how to ward them off.

My advice was to mention me, his DP/DW very early on in the conversation, just very simply, on the first occasion that you find something in common to say 'oh, yes, Finally really liked that movie / drink / tune or whatever.

Works like a charm.