Does couple counselling help?

[Username789101]

Has anyone done couples counselling and was it helpful?

I'm thinking of leaving my DP of 13 years. The relationship has been on and off and toxic at time. They way he can talk to me sometimes is completely out of line but he usually will try and justify why he has spoken to me like that and not see it from my point of view.

We have 2 DC together aswell who I don't want growing up thinking these behaviours are ok in a relationship.

Is it a lost cause or would counselling help us to communicate better and help him see they way he talks and approaches certain situations are not acceptable?

Any advice is greatly appreciated.

It can work brilliantly... Where both people are genuinely committed to making changes and improving their relationship. If only one or neither is, no it can't fix things. It might help you get some individual clarity on your next steps, though.

Would your P actually engage and be willing to try and to change behaviour?

Do you honestly believe that he would change? Would you be able to let go of all the resentment even if he did change his behaviour?

You've got children and you have been together a long time so I really don't see why you wouldn't give it a go.

I'd put a strict time limit in place though; if things are no better in three months and not substantially improved in six months then leave.