I think my default position is to be single - I'm happier this way, but others are trying to get me to date again!

[5t6y7u]

After 2 relationships, I've been single 3.5 years now and I've come to realise I've always been happier when single, once I got over the heartbreak of both ending, even though there were good times in the relationships. I love my own company, am very independent, like a quiet and calm life and am so enjoying being on my own again and have no intention or interest in dating or meeting anyone. I'm almost 50.

Two friends, however, keep on at me to do online dating/ want to set me up etc. They just can't believe that anyone could be happier single.

Anyone else had to deal with this?

Kind of yes. I relate so much to being completely done with relationships as that's where I am. I'm 44. It's such a relief. After exdp drove me to utter distraction with his mental loading me all the time something snapped inside.

If I was younger I'd be chasing men because I wanted dc but I've got my dds and that fear is gone! My perfect lovely girls are everything.

Yes. I’d like to meet someone but not that fussed but I have a friend who, since she met her partner, is determined to fix me up with someone.
Shes tried arranging cozy 4some dinners with male friends, introduced herself to a man I vaguely mentioned and kept making sure he was I background of her photos she then sent to me. And if we’re on a night out, I dare not glance in the direction of any man as she’ll be pointing me out to them.

She means well and I joke with her and the poor random men about it. Think when someone is so loved up they find it difficult to understand we don’t all feel the same

I’m quite happy on my own which seems to amaze several of my friends. None of them have been single for any length of time, they have the peculiar view that nobody can enjoy life unless they are part of a couple.

I have no problem with doing things on my own, I’ve been out for lunch then to the cinema today. Now back home pottering around with no one to answer to but the dog.

So far this year I’ve been on two solo camping trips with another planned for September, been on a city break and numerous days out by myself to places I want to visit. No compromising, just blissful self indulgence doing whatever I like.

I'm having this. Recently separated from STBXH. Everyone keeps reassuring me 'I'll find someone else'. But I don't really want to! I've been with STBXH for 20 years and have little/no experience of being a single adult. I have two primary aged DC and I have no desire to bring someone else into their lives. I just want to be by myself!

One of the problems in ny relationship was that I was always the one to compromise with STBXH. I lost so much of myself. I need to find her again before I consider another relationship.

I'm 6 years single early 30s and no one does this to me. Is it something you go on about a lot? Dating? So maybe they think you want to meet someone

My friend single for years , as she says , if someone nice comes along - great , if they don't - great !

37 and nine years single by choice - you have to be consistently firm with your friends that you do not want to date or be fixed up with men. They will eventually get the memo!

My close friends were pretty good from the start but it took me a few years to train my colleagues at the job I was in at the time and I still have to be very clear and spell it out to new people I meet on occasion.

But I'm so happy more women have had the same realisation, I surprised myself but it's been a lovely nearly decade 😁

My closest friend has separated from husband of many years and is so happy single that I’m envious! She’s enjoying her life doing what she wants, with her lovely children, no one to answer to.

A few people ask her if she’s ‘met someone’ with a sad, pitying face, and it gives me ( and her!) the rage

i know for a fact if I split with husband, I would have less than zero interest in a relationship again, I’d be so happy alone!

@5t6y7u I was just like you. I decided the drama of relationships just wasn't for me. One of my dearest fiends, after knowing me for over ten years, told me she used to feel sad for me that I didn't have a partner, but realised I seemed happy and content alone. She was right.

I'm fine with my own company, regularly went away alone for four weeks, and loved it. I live with my daughter and her partner but we have very separate living arrangements. We share a kitchen and bathroom, but have separate living rooms.

the most sucesfull relationship I ever had was with someone who lived at the other end of the country. They'd visit me three or so weekends a mont h, then go home. But even that became too much after a while.

I want to get back to this. I'm 2.5 years out of the heartbreak of a break up. Ex partner has moved on I think. I swing between wanting to be happy single (I have been before) and feeling like a bit of a failure

Same. I wasted years trying to meet somebody and yet, if I'm honest, every SINGLE time a relationship ended, I felt relief. Even when I was dumped and my self esteem took a hit, there was still a part of me thinking oh god phew, I can just slouch around the house again now. Like I had put relaxation on hold while I was with somebody and the end of the relationship meant I could chill. Not that I was ever being fake and yet, I still felt relief when it ended. Some times I felt ''omg poor me, right, I'll watch that show on netflix and buy sushi and salads, he hated those, my favourite foods though, then I'll get up early and have coffee and go for a walk and and and,, My mind was just racing with all of the things I felt free to do as a single person.

I will be remaining single permanently (I am 39 next month) and I expect people to respect that.

If people started trying to set me up etc or force me into dating I'd honestly just cut them off. On the other hand I do wish I had some single friends!

We are brainwashed by a lot of societal expectations, movies blah blah to be coupled up, and while that’s great for some people, there is a lack of acceptance that many people are happiest single and therefore not having to compromise and constantly thinking of the other person’s needs…

I’m worn out just thinking about it!

Yes, I find it very frustrating but I think society just thinks people can't be happy alone, that you're secretly hoping you find someone etc. I don't want kids and people always say, oh but if you met the right person. Why? Why would meeting an adult male mean I've suddenly changed my mind about children. In my mind they're not connected. All I do is keep being firm that it's not happening, I don't want kids and I don't want a partner. Hoping eventually everyone stops asking!

I also need a lot of time alone, I'm quite introverted, and start to feel smothered in relationships after a while.

Totally agree, some people need time alone, some are happy to always be with someone else (I’m not one of them)

After a 25 year relationship then a 2.5 year rebound and now single 3.5 years I’ve realised how much I need my own space and me time.

if I meet someone I’m happy to date but I know 💯 I could never live with a man again. Separate houses is my way forward

You just have to be extremely firm with them and keep repeating yourself. Some people cannot imagine being happy single. Your happiness may even intimidate them!