Together 20 years (early 50s). Sex life currently non existent. There have been issues mainly that I find it painful (also recurrent UTIs) and am menopausal. It's hard to fancy it when most times I have had to say stop because of the pain! I'm on HRT and low dose antibiotics for the UTIs as suspect vaginal atrophy.
There have been issues in our sex life and relationship in the past. I had to come off the pill in my 40s due to causing migraine - DH refused to have the snip "in case I met someone else and wanted kids with them". I can't use condoms as they too are very uncomfortable, so we had to stop PIV sex. I was giving him a handjob every so often but I began to feel that it was one sided as I could no longer enjoy sex at all.
Communication between us is quite lacking. One of our DC is autistic and I suspect DH is too as he doesn't 'do' conversation or small talk. We don't socialise (maybe twice a year at most). Our evenings are mostly spent in separate rooms doing our own thing.
DH still asks about sex but I want to talk about feelings, menopause etc so he understands where I'm coming from regarding pain during sex. DH doesn't want to talk. We don't flirt, banter or anything similar to get a bit of life in our relationship.
There is financial inequality between us - he earns 6 figures and is the breadwinner (he works v hard) and I'm not (I work full time but on a low wage). He is generous with his money and sees it as 'family money' but has also mentioned moving back to his home town 200 odd miles away to be closer to his parents. But I want to stay in my hometown to stay closer to my parents, both in ill health, and I want to be with our kids (older teens). He told me this after he'd brought me home from an op at the hospital. I don't know what that means for our future.
Is there any hope for us?