DP (or BF I guess) have been together just over 2 years. We don’t live together. I have 3 teens and 2 dogs and a busy life. House is busy but v tidy and not overly noisy / chaotic I’d say. We normally spend the weekend together at either of our houses. And one midweek overnight more often at mine but sometimes at his.
He’s never had kids and not a dog lover. He has a nice home that I enjoy spending time at.
The issue I have is very often he just won’t / can’t seem to relax at my house. My kids like him and he likes them - they are chilled & polite but it’s much harder to get to know older kids so I guess they don’t know each other that well.
Ive been in this house just over a year and it’s just making me so sad that the minute we come to mine he seems tense and in a bad mood. It’s not all the time but it’s like the only time he can ever be really lighthearted and relaxed is at his.
I was going to talk to him again about it today but we didn’t get a chance. After a lovely Friday and Saturday at his where we had so much fun - we came back here and he just seemed grumpy and off. All the kids came back within 15 mins of each other just before midnight and there was a lot of dog barking and noise (the dogs do bark if someone comes to the door particularly if it’s late but otherwise we’ll behaved).
We’ve talked about it before and he says he can’t help it. But it’s like being with 2 different people. I can be happy and relaxed when I’m at his wht can’t he do the same?
I know the answer would be break up but we otherwise get on so well. So sad about it.
Our longer term plan is to buy somewhere together in 2-3 years when my youngest son goes to uni. We currently live over an hour apart so hard to do anything apart from overnights.