What are the dating rules in 2023?

[FallenFigs]

Very tentatively re-entering the dating world after a 2 decades-long relationship.

There was no iPhone last time i was single. We barely used SMS.

Now. There are dating apps, messaging, voice notes. I literally have no clue what the etiquette/protocol is so need some help! Reading the threads on here about dating, it’s a crazy world out there.

So, what is acceptable and what is not? I mean, in really simple terms. Do all those rules about taking turns to reply, not being too keen/ or leaving it too long really apply?

Good luck @FallenFigs

I was in your position about 6/7 years ago. Hadn't been single since I was 20 then suddenly found myself divorced after 14 years with a Dd.

I found online dating a bit mixed. You need a thick skin in terms of ghosting, men losing interest etc and learn early on not to take it personally. It happens to absolutely everyone, no matter how good of a "catch" you are.

I enjoyed it in the beginning and had a laugh then it really got me down for a while. The main advice is not to take it too seriously and have fun.

While I don't believe in game playing I'd definitely try to avoid coming over as too keen and I'll probably get slated for this but I believe in letting the man take the lead (slightly), eg let him initiate, don't double text - just mirror their level of effort & attention. Not only can some men run a mile of the woman is over keen but it also helps weed out time wasters.

Overall I didn't have any dating disasters and met lots of 'nice' men that I didn't have much chemistry with. Finally met my DP in real life 5 years after I started old (ie didn't meet on an app). However it was quite funny as I recognised him from the apps - if you're using them for a while you get to recognise the men that have been single a while too!

I always thought my DP was attractive but didn't get a good impression from his profile so always swiped left 😂 Bumped into each other in real life and my impression from his profile couldn't be any further from the reality!!

So as much as I'd say don't judge a book by the cover, it's impossible not to online as there's nothing else to go with!!

As much as we didn't meet on an app I wonder if he'd have asked me out if he didn't recognise me & know I was single etc.

Have fun!!

There are no rules, its a free for all. Armour up - its wild out there!

That’s really interesting @hev126 about not being interested in your DP through his profile. I have to say I’m pretty disappointed with the quality on apps - maybe I am being too hasty.

The advice on not double-texting and things is good. I would probably just crack on but sounds like that’s not advisable. There’s a fine line between overly keen and confident tho right.

@Callyem your experience sounds a bit different! Would you double text, or what would you think if someone did?!

Double text as in at the same time, like send one reply and then another? Fine.

Double text as in be the last person to add to the conversation at one point, and the first to initiate at another point? Also fine depending on what the prior message was and if it needed a reply.

Double text as in you sent a message that wasn't conversation ending that they hadn't replied to and then initiate at another point? Not fine!

I guess there are rules lol.

No rules except the safety ones i.e. meet in a public place the first date and tell someone where you’re going.

Otherwise just be yourself so that whoever you meet likes the real you and not a facade