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Original poster

Support Partner with Erectile Dysfunction

11 replies

87Girl · 30/07/2023 10:08

Looking for how to support my partner (who I adore) with ED.

He is Type 2 diabetic and has had to have a change to medication causing ED. Kids are going with grandparents tonight for a week so we have a chance to really talk openly.

Anyone with experience with suggestions on how to start to support him? I am completely out of my depth. Are there any online support groups? I want to do everything to help him get through this.

OP posts:
GameofStrife · 30/07/2023 10:14

No need for any of that. Just buy viagra.

ArcticSkewer · 30/07/2023 10:15

What's the reason for not using cialis?

Original poster
87Girl · 30/07/2023 10:16

GameofStrife · 30/07/2023 10:14

No need for any of that. Just buy viagra.

I want to support him not put pressure on him to think he has to perform.

OP posts:
Original poster
87Girl · 30/07/2023 10:24

ArcticSkewer · 30/07/2023 10:15

What's the reason for not using cialis?

Other medications.

OP posts:
SGsling · 30/07/2023 10:26

Maybe he could tackle the reasons why he has type 2 diabetes. Which will improve all aspects of his life.

ArcticSkewer · 30/07/2023 10:29

87Girl · 30/07/2023 10:24

Other medications.

Show quote history

I'd start there with a second opinion from his consultant, or another GP if he doesn't see his consultant for a while.
Who told him it's contra-indicated and why?

Original poster
87Girl · 30/07/2023 14:07

ArcticSkewer · 30/07/2023 10:29

I'd start there with a second opinion from his consultant, or another GP if he doesn't see his consultant for a while.
Who told him it's contra-indicated and why?

Show quote history

Other medications aren’t an option at the moment, which is why i am more concentrated on finding a support group or someone who can offer advice on how to help.

OP posts:
Original poster
87Girl · 30/07/2023 14:09

SGsling · 30/07/2023 10:26

Maybe he could tackle the reasons why he has type 2 diabetes. Which will improve all aspects of his life.

Thank you, he is working on that. He has had it for 10 years and lifestyle is a minor contributor. He doesn’t drink or smoke, is only a little overweight but he is doing more exercise mainly to make himself feel better/good about himself.

I am looking to support him emotionally and avoid putting pressure on him. The physical side isn’t an option at the moment.

OP posts:
whatafryup · 30/07/2023 21:32

My STBXH had (I guess still has!) ED but refused to try anything to help it and it killed our marriage, well there were other factors but the no sex was a significant part.

My new partner has a neurological disorder and all 3 meds he needs have side effects of ED but viagra is not contraindicated with any of them and is a game changer for us. That and child free time😂I hope your talk @87Girl went well and you work through supporting your partner.

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 30/07/2023 22:28

My ex had temporary ED. Reassure him that he can talk to you about it when he wants and you get that it's a major bummer for him but don't bring it up too often. Find other ways to make him feel all manly /like a man- go OTT with how safe he makes you feel when youre walking down a quiet dark road, how clever you think he is and what great advice he gives you, how big and strong his arms look in that t shirt, what a good meal he cooked for you and you've never tasted anything so good. He needs words of affirmation more than anything else right now and to know that he can 'satisfy' you as he's feeling a bit useless. If he gets at all moody with you though call him out and set a boundary as my ex could be quite nasty and I think it started with this.

If this drags on think about how you're going to have your own physical needs met as it's not fair to expect you to give up any sexual pleasure (see the other current thread 'my wife has gone off sex')

porridgeisbae · 30/07/2023 22:41

Other medications aren’t an option at the moment

Why not?

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