I've been trying to build up my friendship group for a round 4 years after leaving my last one. The group hadn't quite grown up and were going out drinking a lot despite us having children. I didn't want to live like that anymore.
My best friend from college moved to the other side of the world.
I knew it would be difficult at first but didn't feel aligned with these old friends anymore. I realised they didn't make the best choices.
Fast forward to now.
I've joined book clubs, fitness clubs, mum clubs, participate in craft events etc and I've met lots of people. But I still don't really have any close friends. It dawned on me after I was offered two tickets to a gig by an old friend from the past, she is going with her husband. I genuinely have nobody to take with me. I have no idea who I would take. My life has been cleared out of any close friends it feels. I would have taken my husband before he left me last year, but I realise now that even that relationship was unhealthy.
I have a couple of friends who I see on a 1:1 basis, but they don't like to leave their children for long periods or overnight as they are younger than mine. It's literally just coffee and a cake here and there. I feel like I'm at a different stage of life than they are now that my children are of school age.
I would love to go to the gig, but couldn't really go on my own. I wouldn't like to tag along with her and her husband either.
How do you get closer friends? I don't want to seem odd by asking a friend that I'm not close to yet. I have a mum friend that I am getting closer to, but she commented that we barely knew each other when I invited her over for drinks and a takeaway a few weeks ago. I'd like to ask her as I can see we have a lot in common but I don't want to seem weird and creepy and like I have no other friends.