Divorcing my STBXH. We separated 2 years ago due to a number of reasons; lack of emotional support and a nagging doubt of mine that he was cheating.
There were a few clues but of course he never admitted to anything, continued to gaslight and beg (manipulate) me in the hope I’d give in and take him back. His behaviour was very similar to the one and only time he admitted cheating (8 years previous) but my gut told me all I needed to know and his behaviour at that point was enough to get rid even if he was innocent on the cheating part.
Fast forward to this week. Bumped into a friend of his, who’d had a fair bit to drink. His friend told me he’d been a cheat since pretty much day one of our relationship - he wasn’t fussy apparently and slept with prostitutes too.
Now I’m trying to digest this a bit. On the one hand, I feel great - my instincts and thoughts have finally been validated. I also feel incredibly fucking stupid that I was with this man for 18 years and I obviously was blind to who he was. I also feel sick to the pit of my stomach.
Now I’m not sure what I’m here asking, maybe I need a bit of a handhold to process this. I suppose I need some support regarding my clear blindness and this overwhelming feeling of being stupid. Anyone been here?