Need a hand hold to get through the next couple of weeks

[RIPDotCotton]

I’ll try to keep a long story fairly short. Marriage has been on the rocks for years after his infidelity. I (wrongly now I know) made the decision to stay married to give our two kids stability. To put in perspective we are expats who live away from any family so I have no support here at all aside from a couple of friends, and no safety net from the government to allow me to claim benefits or state support. As the kids got older there was never a right time to initiate a divorce it seemed. Honestly- there has been emotional abuse for years and I’ve been worn down and become more worried as to how I’d support myself. I do work full time in a job I trained for in the UK but not enough to even rent in the local area and he is a very high earner. Moving two teens away from school and friends in the final couple of years before college just seems too hard. He tries to play Disney dad so as they got older he hides the nastiness to only do it when we’re alone and they can’t over hear him.
Fast forward and after a few years I finally have family visiting on their holidays. I’ve been looking forward to it for months. And once again he took offense at the way I looked at him (apparently I was mad even though I literally was just standing there) and then proceeded to yell at me the whole journey home whilst I quietly sobbed. Apparently if I don’t paint a smile on my face then he will ‘mirror’ my mood in front of them e.g. behave in a moody/arsey way. So effectively blackmailing me to behave a certain way or he will ruin their visit. I can’t involve family in this and ruin their holiday. I just have to get through the next two weeks somehow and then make plans to end this. I guess I’m just asking for a hand hold and some strength to somehow get out of this situation- it’s just so hard when you know it will mess your kids up and probably unleash a year or two of hell. I honestly don’t know how I will be able to afford rent and bills unless I move to a different part of the country which will mean no family or friends for any of us:(
I’m not necessarily looking for answers, just a bit of support. Thanks.

Well, good luck getting through the visit. It sounds like a nightmare.

Just remember that if things do boil over and he has an outburst while your guests are there, it's all on him. It's not your fault. God, I'd love a go at that miserable prick; I'd make mincemeat of him (verbally) and he wouldn't be piping up with any of that threatening bullshit again.

What an absolute nightmare he is. I’m not in the least frustrated by you - instead alarmed at what you’re going through and here for your venting. Do be ready, as a PP advises, in case he worsens.

He sounds unhinged and very nasty. Quite dangerous, in fact. The texts are evidence of his nastiness. Whatever you do will be wrong in his eyes so you can discount getting anything but shit from him. Try to let it roll off like water off a duck’s back. And if you can record him without him noticing, that’s also worth doing.

I feel as if my suggestion to be (falsely) pleasant to him has further aggravated the situation for you. Please accept my apologies.

Don’t apologize- it was a great suggestion! And it’s literally what I’m having to do- bite my tongue and ignore all the snippy comments he keeps doing when we’re all together. Pretend all is well until I have my ducks in a row.
As I was driving us all today he made critical comments and I just drove and thought how much of a dick he makes himself look like. He’s so insecure he has to try and put other people down (not just me) to make himself feel superior. I’m positive when I escape this relationship other people will turn around and tell me they have never liked him and they only put up with him because of me.

Staying together for the kids. Never a good idea. They are resilient.