Both early 40s over the last 2 years dp has been increasing petty and argumentative .. he’s been drinking more too, it started when his business hit a rough patch and I was lenient as knew he was feeling down and stressed and taking it out on me.. it got to a point where I’d had enough and said it was over he broke down and admitted he knew he was wrong, he’d been awful to me and was sorry. Things improved for a bit but I was still wary he’d go back to doing it so feel on edge asking him to do anything round the house etc as he feels his days off he should do nothing. I also said if he’s drinking he needs to stay downstairs for the night, as that is when he’s worse, I don’t drink and don’t want to have stupid arguments with a drunk. Business is better but he’s starting again with the nit picking and weird arguments .. he says I don’t admit I’m wrong but I do when I am , the arguments are about him saying I ve done something I haven’t done .. or not done something I have … even if I prove it by showing him he doesn’t say he was wrong, he just goes on about something else instead .. like who I dated 20 years ago , that there’s oval plates mixed up with round ones, that I’d not cleaned the bathroom as there was wee under the seat or something equally as irrelevant. He was in an abusive relationship before me, I know this first hand not from what he’s said. I think the weird arguments and jealousy over things that I did 15 years before we even got together, his defensiveness and projection may be down to what he’s been through in the past. He’s not a horrible man, he’s a good dad and step dad, he works hard and provides, he can be lovely when he’s not being an arse… has anyone dealt with issues that may be from past relationships ? He won’t go counselling .. he’s not always been like this so hoping now he’s less stressed about business he will go back to the way he was.. but it’s starting to feel like I’m In an abusive relationship now, when we had no money I put expensive presents etc for my Dd and DSD and DSS on credit cards/ finance as dp has bad credit, he said yesterday it’s all my debt, but when we gave the presents they were from both of us not just me ! so why is he saying I’ve racked it all up when he told me to get them, it’s a joint debt ( not legally as it is in my name only but morally ) .. it’s definitely affecting the way I feel about him. Is there any hope ?