Feel like I can't leave the relationship

[Nissy123]

I want to leave but feel like I can't. I've been in a previous abusive relationship and he still continues to abuse me, currently awaiting family court.
However this relationship is a same sex one and I guess I've ignored behaviours and let things go as the dynamic is different to my previous relationship. However I know its toxic. She's mean, not understanding, selfish, throws tantrums if stuff doesn't go her way. She's 10 years older than me too. I don't love her anymore, I just feel so unhappy.
I don't know why I can't end it. So many times I've tried. I get to the point of ending it and i just can't. I don't know if it's because I'm vulnerable because of the looming court dare, because our children get on so well or because I have a great bond with her child. I just keep thinking about tearing them apart and it upsets me. But I'm just not happy. I don't know what to do anymore

I'm sorry, it sounds awful and sounds like you've got lots to deal with - will a split be easy, do you have your own accommodation?

Luckily there is nothing financial tying us together. We don't live together either. So it looks like an easy break up, but I just can't seem to do it

You're at the worst point now, whilst you're still together but desperately unhappy. I know how hard it is - I've been there - but I'm sure you will feel massively relieved once it's done. You have a much brighter future ahead of you!

It is hard when you form attachments to children, but they are young and resilient. It also sounds like an awful relationship to be modelling for them. You deserve so much more, even if that's being single.

I know I don't want to model bad relationships for my DS.
I just feel desperately low. I know this relationship is contributing aswell as all the other stuff happening atm. I don't feel like she supports me. She says the right words but her actions are different.
I just feel really alone atm