Abusive ex now happy

[Aloen]

An ex of mine was emotionally abusive. He would try to put me down, not that it would bother me. I didn’t have any respect for him and I have good self esteem most of the time especially when it comes to men (except for my most recent ex who I’m heartbroken about - anyway not the point of this post).

This ex spent months crying after me and tried to win me back. Months later, he’s now loved up with a woman much younger than him who he intends to marry and is telling everyone he’s punching (he would put down me and all his other previous gfs). All because this woman must be younger and skinnier 🙄

And here I am, struggling to find when one date on the dating app.

Life doesn’t seem fair.

He still tries to speak to me, tells me how much he cares. Odd thing is that I believe him. He’s just messed up.

I wouldn’t wish him on anyone and I feel sorry for his new girlfriend.

I feel your pain!!!!!

Advice -

1. Boundaries. Do NOT follow his life updates and tell mutual friends firmly not to update you. Make sure they understand you mean it.

1. He hasn't changed. He will be just as abusive to her after the honeymoon period, pity her don't envy her.

1. He didn't treat you badly Because you're not thin or pretty enough don't tell yourself that story. He fancied you lots when you got together.

1. Please focus on your own life not his- take care of your body not for what you look like but because you deserve to, treat yourself like a child you love - enough sleep and healthy food and gentle exercise. I have recently started lifting weights and it's been a confidence boost. Limit sugar and alcohol. You will also look and feel so much better if you follow this advice! Follow a dream or passion and make your home as lovely as you can afford to- have a big declutter.

1. OLD is always full of some real horrors of men even models I know that use it get ghosted and treated badly on it- don't take it personally.

Ps point 1 block him

1. Get counselling

He hasn't changed. He will be just as abusive to her after the honeymoon period, pity her don't envy her.

Just keep reading this over and over. It's everything in a nutshell.

Thanks all. By the way I’m not hurt ! I just find it unfair. Men move on so quickly and can find younger/prettier women. Meanwhile I’m all alone and matching with guys but none message me. 🤷‍♀️ Sad state of affairs.

My ex husband was having an affair and when I said I wanted a divorce was begging me to stay with him and said quite openly that he was still trying to get OW to leave her partner for him. He couldn't be single, he needed someone and he would have stayed with me rather than being alone. So the fact he's still with the OW just makes me think he had a great time being with me because I made life so easy for him, he really needs a partner. I don't. He was rubbish and made my life harder, why would I want another shit boyfriend? I'd rather be on my own than repeat a relationship like my last one.

I don't know, I find it comforting that he's in a relationship because he can't be alone and he got a lot from his relationship with me and wants to keep those benefits. I choose to be alone because I got nothing from him.