Do I leave or stay...
Background, me and my partner have been together for 8 years and live together, we had a baby 2 years ago. I fell pregnant again at the start of this year, all was fine but when the 12 week scan appointment arrived in the post it all changed. My partner said it wasn't what he wanted and if I had the baby he would resent both me and the Newborn, he wanted an abortion. I cried and cried, tried to change his mind but he wasnt having it. So I felt backed into a corner and decided to contact the clinic, I had 3 days to take the medication otherwise it would be the surgical option. I drove 300 miles on a bank holiday to collect the medication alone as partner wouldn't take the time off of work. My family had our 2 Yr old and I made up a story of why I needed childcare.
I took the tablets at home and passed the baby alone as once again he wouldn't take time off of work, he offered no support at all... fast forward to 3 months on I still feel like I am grieving the loss of my baby, I dreamthed of having my 2nd child and up until being 9 weeks pregnant I thought my partner felt the same.
Since his lack of support I have sat back and noticed a lot of holes in our relationship that I ignored in the beggining. Such as even after 8 years he will not attend any family or friend events with me, I go alone with my toddler. He won't allow friends around our house when he is at home, they have to have left by the time he arrives back from work, if they are still in he will be blatantly rude and make them feel uncomfortable so that they leave. He is quite tall and can be quite intimidating. I went on our holiday abroad alone with my toddler this year as he didn't want to come with us.
He spends no time with us as a family, he would rather spend his evenings / weekends in the shed not joining in with us.
I work 36 hours per week from home, I have our toddler Yr old all week with only 1/2 day childcare per week, I do all of the household chores, However he still thinks I need to 'pull my weight' at home and in his words its about time I started appreciating him. I don't feel like there is anything more I can give in the relationship. Yes I have been unhappy and not particularly upbeat recently but can you blame me?
I have sat down and spoken to him about this, he doesn't want to throw away a long term relationship and said he was sorry for how I felt, but no apology for his behaviour and no promises to change etc.
I am attending counselling and I don't feel any intimacy in the relationship anymore, however leaving and moving to my parents is such a huge decision to make and will be life changing for my toddler. Do I stick with him and hope he opens his eyes or do I leave and go it alone?
Thanks in advance for your thoughts.