Potential Offence *TW sexual*

[stupidstupidstupidgirl]

I've had to report coercive, controlling behaviour to the police from an ex-partner. This person is threatening to destroy my life and has made it clear he hates that I have escaped his control.

Anyway, a couple of years ago we were having sex and I asked him to stop as it was hurting me, he carried on regardless and said something like 'I'll make it hurt more and then you'll feel it' at the time it scared me and was quite sinister. I asked him about this about 6 weeks later as it was on my mind.

He completely denied anything luckily it was by message so have it all logged.

So in the report I've made I said about this incident and they said it's rape and I have got a sexual offence police officer to contact me.

I'm so frightened about what he could do that I don't know whether to go ahead with this rape report or not.

What should I do? I want to report it so this person doesn't get to ruin anyone else's life but I'm terrified about him ruining mine further.

I’m so sorry this happened to you, you deserve support and compassion right now, not pressure and guilt, so please don’t put that on yourself or let anyone else. You need to do what’s best for you. I would love to be able to assure that going ahead with reporting the rape would be a trauma free experience, that you would be 100% safe from any retaliation and that it would result in a conviction, but it wouldn’t be ethical because we all know the system is broken. I’m not going to tell you what to do, but only suggest that you take some time and think about what’s best for you.

Please be kind to yourself OP, you’ve been incredibly brave to report him for the abuse and just remember, no woman is responsible when a grown man makes a choice to rape someone. X