First breakup after divorce

[BluejustBlue]

I had another thread on AIBU but it didn't get many comments as I think there was just too much in it. I'm breaking to down to my main issue which is facing now and that is why is the breakup that I'm going through post divorce having such an impact on me?

I was married for 20 plus years and had accepted the relationship was over and it had been over for a long time; this breakup (known the man for several years) has had... is having an enormous impact on me. I can't help feeling so distressed that it's over and I'm really not coping with it well, at all.

I'm 44 so should be able to deal with things better but I'm just not.

I need so help or some words of encouragement that this pain won't last. 🙏🏼

I've done everything I can in terms of looking on the bright side and counting my blessings etc but it's not helping 😖

Its not unusual for the first break up after a divorce to feel hellish. Seen it a few times on here and had the same myself. I suspect there's quite a lot of hidden grief expressed through them that goes beyond the fact that break ups are always shit.

I fell hard for a guy after I got divorced too. In my case it was someone I met on OLD. I was also totally over my divorce and I was happy in myself etc before I started on OLD - so no lingering regrets from EXH or anything like that.
We only were together for a few months - but I was totally devastated when he ended things as I'd thought he "was they guy" in a weird way it felt a bit like "first love" I've no idea why TBH. It did take me a while to get over him - way more time than you would expect.

It does get easier. Give yourself sometime to get over this guy but don't be hard on yourself. for whatever reason it just hasn't worked out.

In hindsight I realise my guy wasnt really long term - and eventually I did meet my "forever" person (or at least I hope so!! LOL) we've been together 3 1/2 years.

Had this..OMG it feels so much worse.
I think it is all the grief of the foaled marriage ect ans also u put so much hope in rot the next relationship for it to offer what u didn’t have from your marriage. And then when that doesn’t work you just think fuck!!!! And it feels so much harder, it knocked me big time. Also realised it was grief of the divorce too x

First break up after divorce is dreadful. How you feel is normal. It will get better. It did for me.

OP how are you doing? I've just broken up and it's really hard, it would be good to know how you're feeling a month down the line.