How do you stay happy with your lot?

[Gymmum82]

Been with my husband 15+ years now and I guess like any relationship things just get a bit stale and boring.
I find myself feeling almost jealous of friends, one has just got a new boyfriend. One split with her husband and now has a new girlfriend and sometimes I wish I could have that excitement again.

Don’t get me wrong I do love my husband. He’s a good dad. Good husband. Good man. We get on well. Rarely argue. But I guess life becomes a bit mundane. Each day is the same. Work. Kids etc.
How do you stay grateful and happy with what you have? Rather than wishing for things you don’t have and will never have?

It helps me to keep perspective. I know it’s not realistic to say “be grateful” every minute of everyday, but for example in my family lots of people have died very young. It helps me to just be grateful that I’m still here and my husband is still here. We’ve enjoyed 8 years of marriage and my own parents did t even get that. Yes sometimes it’s boring but it’s security.

i do find family life becomes routine heavy and monotomous so I try to combat that. I do 2x weekends away with the girls a year so we always have something to look forward to outside of our marriages. Also there are obviously people I fancy and I have a cheeky flirt sometimes if I’m being honest. I find that’s enough for me

You're a glass half empty person so you need to turn into a glass half full person. Look at all that you have. Many people would love to have what you have. Alternatively, spend some time working with a nature-related charity.

By reminding myself of the past and how lucky I am to be where I am now.

You have the power to change things that you don’t like in your relationship.

I'm single, have been since we left ex, 12 years ago. I am happy & grateful every day.

Peace
Calm
Security
Freedom 😊

Having witnessed someone die slowly in an unpleasant way, it's made me realise how lucky I am to have a healthy body and mostly a healthy mind, and two healthy children and a mostly healthy Co parent.

I used to say to myself "the day will come when I ll beg to feel this fucking good", when I bounced out of bed in the morning.

I m a single, flirty, woman and I m sick to my back teeth of the jealous, bored, resentful people who are cross with the mundanity of life. It's up to each of us to build fun into our lives, through hobbies or friends or any other means. We each have to find joy in life.

you probably need to rediscover what makes you tick a bit! a hobby, a sport, change of appearance, move your living room around, book a wild holiday or take up ballroom dancing or something a bit different. I think people get very stuck in the same old habits, (myself included) so to change it up can be very helpful. It could be something you do just for yourself, not to do with your husband. Maybe just changing your own life a bit will help your relationship as a whole - or help you realise if you even want to be in a relationship! I'm a single parent and life can be very samey, so am in some ways jealous of people in a relationship but also aware that i have freedoms they don't - which forces me to work on myself, my creative pursuits, my own interests etc. I am entirely my own person.

Thanks everyone for your replies. I am aware how lucky i am. 2 of my close friends have cancer, one incurable. I know she won’t be around that much longer which breaks my heart.

I gratitude journal daily, have friends and hobbies. And my health. I’m very lucky. I do know this and yet I still can’t shake this sense of unfulfillment and I don’t really know what else to do about it

it sounds like you're simply a bit bored so maybe change that a little - find something more exciting to do and get your husband involved

Hello, similar feelings here!
I know I’m lucky to still be here, but do feel trapped with endless mundanity of crap job etc. I found swimming gave me more energy which gave me more joy somehow. Need to do it more!

That’s the thing. I don’t know what!

I go to the gym a lot. Which does bring me joy and energy. But then when I get home to the same mundane life it all goes again

Weekend away, learning something totally new.

Send your partner a message like you don't really know each other and ask him out. Tell him you want him to woo you again. Make the effort to woo him before/in return.

Start a new hobby together.

Get some new underwear/ nice outfit (both of you)

Ban the tv for a month.

Rearrange the furniture and work together to choose new paint/wallpaper.

Join a subscription thing of wine/gin/whatever.

Do those walking trails around your local town.

Both read a book/watch a movie or something then discuss it.

If it makes you feel better I've recently been dumped and would love to have what you have! I think there's pros and cons to both sides, everyone always wants what they can't have or feels the grass is greener etc.

Don't forget even your girlfriends will probably only tell you all the exciting bits - not the horrible bits where it's like does he like me, will this last etc etc.

Thanks for the suggestions. The decorating one made me laugh. We’ve been doing up a room in our house for possibly coming up 2 years because we both thought it was a good idea and realised quickly we hate decorating

This made me laugh, it’s so true! Everyone says, get a massage/ sap day, and within minutes of getting home all that lovely feeling has gone and you are knee deep in dirty dishes again😀

What do you enjoy doing? What do you wish you could do that you can't?

Go away on your own for a weekend retreat where you can have space to be calm then hopefully you will start to be able to discover what you are really missing in your life. When other people tell you about their lives what makes you think “I wish I could do/be/have that”? If your life’s boring there is a whole world of possibility out there: creativity, outdoors, nature, sport, travel, music. What dreams do you have if there was nothing holding you back. Just do things differently, volunteer or go abroad on activity holiday, holiday somewhere just with your husband or friends, travel round a different continent, form a band, join a choir, even change what you eat and drink and shake it all up and see what transpires. Get a vision for your life and go for it. Maybe he’s bored too!