Relationships with disabled children

[Lollipop23]

This is going to be quite long so please bear with me.

I have a son who has ASD and me and his dad split. His dad is not involved so it was me and my son for a long time. I have met someone (3months in) who also has a child with ASD and GDD. He has his son 50/50.. I really like this guy but I feel like we do not have the best circumstances for a relationship. Part of me thinks it could be wonderful to support each other but the other part of me feels like I find it hard to cope with my own child and would find it even harder to cope with his too.

We only get to see each some week nights while my son is in bed and I know my circumstances with not having my sons dad around makes it restrictive for us to go out and date. We thought eventually we could introduce the kids and have some weekend time together or occasionally take a day off work to spend together while the kids are in school.

Has anyone had any experience in this and have any advice on if this would be a good idea to pursue?

Part of me thinks when my son is older and I have more time I will want to enjoy my time, going on holidays, socialising and seeing friends. I have spent the last 6 years not having any child free time, so I look forward to this if I am honest. But if I am with this man who has a child who will likely not live an independent life, I'm not sure that will happen. I expect he will have his son as much as he does now and I think it is great for him to be such a good person/dad which is what attracts me to him so much, but at the same time, will I be giving up my own life? I have no idea what is best to do.

HELP?

How old is your son ? I have a 14yr old with ASD and he barely leaves his room - and hasn’t wanted to do days out etc for many years .
so you may find that your son isn’t interested in your relationship / other child etc anyway. I know mine isn’t. There is no way he would interest with another child bought into his home .
And there is no way I would be in a relationship with someone who also has a child like mine - one is hard enough . I couldn’t cope with any other and all the restrictions they bring .

He is only 5 so at the moment little and he can be restictive in things but has good level of understanding and is independent and able to do self care. I feel he will be fine later in life but who knows.

Would you ever have more children? I wanted to meet someone and settle down and have a family but I think that goes out the window if I continue with this guy.

I don't know if it's better to leave it while it's still so early on or actually just pursue it because he's a decent person so far. I'm just worried more about going along with something then in the future realising I feel trapped. (feel selfish dating so)