How important is sex to you

[needhelpgivelove]

So if you're in a living relationship with a nice man. He treats you right, he's sweet and you both have a giggle, would you be able to live the rest of your life without intense, passionate, sexy sex?

I'm in a really weird mindset. I'll be 30 soon, I've had intense, wild relationships and I'm no idiot. I know they where quite toxic but I miss feeling wanted. Feeling sexy and fucked. Is this normal? I've only been with my current partner for about 18 months but it's always been very tame.

How important is sex to me/us? When we’re having it (once a week is enough), it occupies 10% of our relationship. When we’re not having it, it occupies 90% of our relationship. It’s a paradox. Good and relatively frequent sex keeps our relationship happy and steady.

That's so true.

Not having a lot of sex (if we were both on the same page) and if everything else was good wouldn't necessarily bother me but having bad sex, a selfish lover or feeling pestered for sex / mismatched desire would do.

If that chemistry is lacking at the start it's unlikely to suddenly appear years down the line.

What's his impression of your sex life? If he thinks it's great or isn't asking you what you think or you feel you can't talk about it with him, that is a bigger problem, if the communication isn't there this will just turn to resentment.

"I've had intense, wild relationships and I'm no idiot. I know they where quite toxic but I miss feeling wanted. Feeling sexy and fucked. Is this normal?"

Yes of course it's normal. And just to add, a relationship doesn't need to be bad or toxic to have passionate sex! You can have a loving, caring, "safe" relationship and have amazing sex! It doesn't need to be one or the other.

Everyone is different but to me it's one of the most important things in a relationship and I agree with PPs who say, if you're already a bit bored by the sex side of things 18 months in, it won't get better. So if it's important to you then I would seriously think about whether you're happy for this to be the rest of your life or whether to cut your losses now.