Advice please, emotionally drained

[BabyUxX]

Hi everyone, I'm just wanting some advice please.

I have been with my partner for 3 years in October. He has this thing where he will come home from work and pick at everything I haven't done, this sounds crazy but I feel like I am going crazy, I am a mum to children and I am constantly worrying if what I've done that day is enough. Have I missed a dish, have I missed a peice of clothing to be washed, have I forgot to hoover something up? Kind of thoughts in my head because if I have missed something he tells me. I feel like I'm not appreciated for anything I do. I get moaned at for everything, this week he's complained to me he's got paid less from work because he had some days off, he's taken It out on me and the kids by being so stressed and constantly mentioning money issues to the kids / around the children. Theirs no intimacy recently because of all this going on, he isn't interested. If I'm honest, I feel so alone. Today was the worst day for me, I was playing with my youngest child and she started being really naughty, I told her no 3 times and she wouldn't stop demanding and screaming so I took her toy from her and threw it. It hit our TV and its made a tiny dent in it so the picture is faulty now. I cried and cried because I really didn't mean for that to happen and I knew, when my partner gets in that's it I'm in for another shouting at. He came home and did exactly that, I am just so emotionally drained I have cried for hours whilst he's ignored me and gone upstairs away from me and the kids. I have tried so hard to hold back my tears from them but I can't. I am so sad. He's been home for hours now and still upstairs, he came down once and said nothing and went up again.
I'm downstairs now crying again. I really don't know what to do I just want a shoulder to cry on but I don't have that. 😔 I don't know what to do anymore but I feel so low xx

Sorry to say but ur husband is emotionally abusing u. This will only get worse and not better. The fact that he feels this is the way to treat his wife and the mother of his children is sickening to me. U are worth more than this. So much more.

Whose house is it? Is it rented?

OP, have you any friends or family you can talk to? You need to get away from this man. Your children should not grow up in an abusive household, seeing their mother treated like dirt.
When he’s not around, ring the Domestic abuse helpline for advice 08082000247.
Good luck, OP.

Sounds really painful my friend. Wish I could give you a hug! it’s mad how stress can build and build, it’s starts to cycle around. you sound very upset and I’m sorry to hear you’re crying on your own like that. Can you text a few mates or family and ask them to call you for a chat? Even if you hear their voice is might be grounding and help you feel like they got your back.

I reckon if you can get a break away that would be good. Maybe make a plan this weekend to go out to see some friends who are chilled out and talk to them. Ask if he can look after the kids. Take some time to get yourself back to yourself a bit. You could try doing some journaling or a mind map to think about the situation you’re in.

also if it feels like this cycle been going on for ages and you don’t think it will stop, I reckon it could be good to start thinking about breaking up. Maybe before that, you might want to try relationship counselling. It depends though. If it’s a situation where he doesn’t think he’s doing anything wrong it’s very unlikely he’ll change at all. Sad but true.

Its so hard to walk away. But I reckon having those boundaries is a loving act, as that we can teach others about what is the right way to love, and the wrong way. Walking away always works out for the best is we have realised we need to.

another thing I might ask is whether you have any counselling or therapy for yourself? It might be good to have someone to talk to as you sound quite low.

sending hugs x