hi ladies,
so over a year ago now I had the chat (numerous chats over several months) with my husband that I was struggling with feeling ‘in love’ with him, we have been together for 13 years, three children, house, everything. From the outside everything was perfect, and he was devastated and said he never saw it coming. however from my perspective, he always made me feel like I was never good enough, our house was never enough, I didn’t parent the right way, the house renovations took their toll and whatever I suggested wasn’t right. My dad on a number of occasions nearly had words with him because of how he’d heard him speak to me. He still expected sex, or at least sexual acts, at least twice a week, and if I didn’t want to be would pester until I gave in, then say sorry afterwards.
so all of this accumulated to me not being able to feel ‘love’ and in turn, not want to be intimate with him. We worked on this and had afew sessions of couples therapy which didn’t help. He wanted me to go to sex therapy but I refused because I knew it wasn’t a sexual issue with me, but that I couldn’t feel that way with him. I cried all of the time, felt worthless, lost a lot of weight, he again tried sexual things and on two occasions pestered me so much that through tears I gave in, and again, he said he was sorry but claimed he was terrified of loosing me.
fast forward to now, he has moved out since the end of March, but still cannot accept that things are over. He will often come to the house when I was alone and working from home to try it on, which I refused, and he will make sexual comments or comment on my appearance all of the time which I find frustrating. He also comes round to pick up/drop off the children and finds excuses to go into every room in the house (I am still in the family home) he goes through my
washing and comments on every new thing I have, he also emptied my bathroom bin upstairs and commented that I’d thrown away a bra(!)
I think my question is, how do I manage this going forward?!! It’s driving me insane and can’t be doing his mental health any good to be snooping and trying to make innapropriate comments. I care about him alot (as the father of my children) but absolutely hate feeling this way.