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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Could my son be autistic?

2 replies

Juliee693 · 27/07/2023 10:47

My DS has just turned 25 last month but I feel like a bad mother knowing that I might have just realised that my son is autistic after all these years. Here's some of the reasons why I think he may be autistic.

• He has always been quiet and he never really had a big circle of friends, He also never really use to hang around with his friends outside of school (only the odd time he would go out like during the summer). He did talk to his friends a lot on playstation and they would play games with each other

• when he listens to people a lot of the time he looks away or wont make eye contact.

• He becomes very "focused" on things like I remember one time he spent the whole day trying to fix our cooker, He never took one break although he got it working eventually. Even when he is painting or doing gardening he wont stop until its perfect.

• he told me that he prefers jobs that are monday to friday with the same hours over shift work. The reason why he said is because he likes "schedual"

• He has OCD when it comes to cleaning and he would always put things in order.

• Every morning the first thing he does is Fix his bed and he has done this ever since he was young, he got up one time late for work and as he was about to leave he ran upstairs and fixed his bed lol.

• He has never had a GF in fact the other day when I told him that one of his cousins are getting married soon and he said to me "you have people my age getting married and having kids while I've never kissed a woman before"

• He is very obsessed with his appearance as in he would get haircuts every two weeks, he buys skincare products, facial steamers, he paid £1,500 once to get a small mole removed from his face, he also brought a leather jacket the other day for £600 and he also goes to the gym 3-4 times a week.

• When he is going to build something he says that he always looks at the pictures rather than reading the instructions mostly.

• He studied engineering and works as an engineer, apparently that profession attracts a lot of people who are autistic from what I've heard.

• he is Very good with his hands weather its to do with mechanics, electrics, computers, programming etc. He also worked as a welder for a few years before he went to uni to study engineering and apparently he was very good at his job to where his old company wanted him to stay.

• He has a bit of trouble explaining things and he would always say "look, I'll show you" or he would draw a picture. I also remember one time at a parent teacher meeting the teach said that he is someone who seems to be more of a "visual learner"

OP posts:
wendyjoy · 27/07/2023 11:01

Don't be hard on yourself. I have four ASD Grandsons age 18 15 14 and 8 ( eldest 3 to my eldest daughter.. ) 8 year old to youngest.. all diagnosed.. all very very different with some same traits. Now we have only just realised my daughters and myself are on the spectrum.. but we have managed perfectly all our lives.
The spectrum is very very wide . What you are describing about your son im 100% sure he's on the spectrum.. but is he happy? Is he loved? Is he managing his life? Sounds like it.
My 18 year old is starting Uni this September.. just got his 1st girlfriend ( she's also ASD).. and sounds very much like your son..
Hope this helps

XDownwiththissortofthingX · 27/07/2023 11:16

Nobody on Mumsnet can give you a definitive Yes/No from a list of behaviours. The things you list are all things that could be present in an autistic person, they could also be present in someone who is not autistic, but might just be a little bit introverted and unconventional.

There are plenty of people who have an OCD diagnosis, or display slightly compulsive/obsessive behaviours but are certainly not autistic. The main thing is, does he feel that his life is significantly impacted and impaired for some reason that he can not quite explain, or do you see him as someone whose life is obviously made much more difficult by 'odd' behaviours who could possibly benefit from a formal diagnosis?

If you are just asking out of sheer curiosity, then that's one thing, but the idea of pursuing a formal diagnosis is another, and at 25 years old that should really be a matter for him to explore.

Have you actually mentioned anything about your suspicions to him?

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