I'm 33 years old, yet I've felt like a teenager over the last few years about this!!
And I keep going through cycles and trying to make sense of it, and I still don't think I do. Ultimately, I need and would like more friends to connect with in my area, but its so hard I feel at my age. Sure if you have children, you can connect with others at school gate or baby group etc. But im totally single, and things like art/craft groups tend to attract older people. I want to make friends with people my own age or up to 10 years older.
It had to be said, I'm not in the best of health at the moment and my mental health is taking a battering, my confidence not so good as it was. So its not even like im my best self and I think it shows. So making friends is so hard as most people probably find me a bit aloof. Overall my feelings about friendships contribute to my confidence decreasing, as I think you feel more accepted and validated the stronger your friendships are.
I have just 3-4 friends and have had the same for the past 5 years. If I can even consider some of them friends anymore. As 3 of them have moved away and more than a few hours away. They do not know each other. Past few years, i've noticed they haven't reached out so much or messaged me. But there has been times when they have, just not so much, more like every 3 weeks. I try not to take it personally as I understand they have different lives away from the area now, but I do!
I am currently single by choice until I improve things mentioned above and so are a couple of my friends.
When i'm in touch with friends and they are messaging me, I think 'great, this is how it used to be!/should be!' but when days of about 5 days go by with no contact, I begin to worry that they no longer consider me a friend and that eventually i'll be completely on my own with no friends or anyone to go out with.
It worries me just how upset it makes me. I have days sometimes where no body reaches out except my mum and I feel so physically and emotionally ill and depressed and that I am alone and nobody wants to be my friend (pathetic at my age I know) I'll sit looking at my phone with no notifications and wonder how abnormal that is. I also stalk friends social medias to see what they are up to and wonder why they have forgotten me.
Can anyone help me make sense of these feelings? I believe I may have a bit of abandonment worries when it comes to friends but it feels pretty extreme.