I have social anxiety. I do not know how to talk to women. How to be funny, how to relax. How to make them fell safe and good in my company. This fact is killing me. There is this women in my job. One day I was walking with my coworker, talking, when we saw her. Coworker who knows her sad to me, that she started working in our company. He introduced her. At this point, I did not do anything. I did not look at her, did not introduce myself, did not say hello, nothing. Like she do not exist. I do not know what to say except, I am an IDIOT! I am so mad about myself. The next day, we were together at a buss station. I was there first, she came second. When she was walking towards the station / me, I looked at her, the look away. She was standing 1m away from me, probably waiting for me to say something. When that did not happened, she moved a little further back, but not to much. The next day I meet her and the coworker on the bus, I sad hello to the coworker, and didnot looked at her, and sad anything to her. Then I owerheard when coworker asked her, if I sad anything to her. She yust shook her head. There were many instances, when we were on the bus, standing close, but I didnot say anything. If I see her in the workplace, I do not say hello to her. We yust look at each other when we are close, then look away. One day I build up the courage and sad hello. She very quetly sad hello back. But i can fell her distance. She is not smiling when she looks at me, she looks angry. Like what do you want, leave me alone. She sees me talking with other coworkers ( male ), and probably thinking like she does not exist for me. Like she is not worthy of talking to me. The problem is, she is now logically ignoring me, and this drives me crazy. When i see her smiling, talking to other people. I am so sad, because i could have talker to her, if i was not that akward idiot. I would like to make this right, but I do not know how? I do not think, this even has a point anymore. I guess i yust wanted to spill my heart out.
I apologize for grammar mistakes. English in not my mothers language. Thank you for understanding.