Is timing and compatibility crucial at the beginning of a relationship ?

[stoneybattered]

Does the old adage ring true in your experience.... timing is everything ??
Included in that is being compatible , as in being at the same stage and free to engage in a relationship at that specific time?
For instance , can a new relationship have a Ny chance when one of the couple is undergoing a life changing stressful experience or if one of them has a crazy level of responsibility , thus time poor and the other doesn't...
Do you walk away temporarily until their lives have settled down or hang in there ?

Anyone?

I think if both are invested in the relationship and understanding of the circumstances, and keep good communication then yes, even if timing is bad then a relationship can work in the long run. It very much depends on the people and what their personalities as re like I think though.
Compatibility over timing always for me.

DH and I essentially did both of these; first we met at a time when we both had a lot going on and couldn’t give the time or energy and effort that was needed for a relationship so we both stepped back, stayed vague friends. Tried again a few years later and it was again not a good time and we spent the next year being very on/off which could be quite painful.
Although we kept on trying our relationship couldn’t really progress properly until the rest of the our lives were a bit more settled. Obviously looking back I’m glad we both hung on but I did walk away several times in that on/off year

Is there such a thing as perfect timing? I mean we've all got stuff going on at some point.

Compatability is definitely the key though, if two people want to be together then it will happen. As long as they both work together and communicate about what they want, and be honest with themselves about what they want, then anything is possible

Ask me again in the future! I was seeing someone late last year / early this year and due to him being a single dad with 100% custody we ended things, but did say that when things change (due to, whether or not they do is another matter) in summer we will hook up again. We are at different stages in life, so I’m not convinced it will ever work. We are still in touch, via text, but I don’t know if we are realistically going to be able to pick up where we left off.

It does make things less straightforward when one person is going through a big life event- but it's not impossible. Maybe compatibility and willingness is key, from both people in the partnership.

I think timing does matter because people might be looking for different things from a relationship depending on the stage of life they are in, their responsibilities / commitments, whether they’re looking to have more children or not, etc. If one person is going through a big life-changing event, that will colour the start of the relationship (in a good or bad way) and possibly set the tone/dynamic for the rest of the relationship. Depends whether you have the time/energy to be their emotional crutch until the crisis is over. I think it also depends on whether you knew them before the life-changing event because they might behave differently once they’re out of the fog.

I think anything is possible if the relationship is right. When I met dh, we were both working on short-term contracts in a country far from either of our home countries. He was still in uni back at home (doing a placement year) and I had just agreed to start a postgraduate programme back in my home country (which in theory would last 6-7 years, though I only had to be physically there for 2-3). Completely the 'wrong' time and set of circumstances for starting a relationship, never mind the 11 hour flight between us after our contracts ended. We got married 3 years later, I moved to live with him, and we're happily married with 2 kids, a dog, a mortgage, 15 years later. It's totally possible, but it has to be the right relationship for you to overcome challenging life circumstances.