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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

I can't get over being ghosted, its made me obsessed

15 replies

Namechaaaa · 26/07/2023 16:12

Try and keep it short and not detailed:

This man is 5 years younger than me so in his 20s still and I'm in my 30s. I never dated younger but I knew him 2017 he disappeared and we got back in contact recently.

I put off meeting him for months but when I did I ended up liking him although he wasn't what I was use to, he was rough/badboy. I'm used to soft men/nice guys.

He did things sexually to me he had never done with another woman, I no doubt know he liked me.

I don't know what happened or why he ghosted. It's been 5 weeks.

I never been ghosted by any man before.

OP posts:
Original poster
Namechaaaa · 26/07/2023 16:15

And I don't think he had a gf he is too busy. I been to his house as well. He always answered the phone to me.

OP posts:
carrot87 · 26/07/2023 16:22

He's still a kid. You're in your 30s and too old for a bad boy. You will want commitment he wants to get his end away. I guess he sensed it and got what he wanted from you and now is on to the next one.

BlinkOnceForYes · 26/07/2023 16:29

That sounds upsetting op. I’m sorry.

I wonder if the need to know stems from a belief that it’s something about you that made him behave this way. That if you knew what it was, you could prevent it from happening again.

But his behaviour is down to him alone. It could be anything from being scared of commitment to him having met someone else or anything really. It says something about his respect for other people and his emotional maturity though. Unfortunately, blocking seems to come with the territory of the internet age.

Try not to torture yourself with the whys. Be proactive, block him on everything, let yourself grieve the sense of loss then build yourself back up and before you know it, you will neither care nor think about it. Which is exactly the time he’ll pop back up ime.

BlinkOnceForYes · 26/07/2023 16:32

Sorry, *ghosting comes with the territory

Cherryana · 26/07/2023 16:43

Also he didn’t do things with you that he didn’t do with other women. That was a line, created to make you think you were special and to manipulate you to do things.

I am sorry, he is an arse who used you. Do not give him any more of your thought. Get yourself distracted with something else quick.

Dery · 26/07/2023 16:51

“Also he didn’t do things with you that he didn’t do with other women. That was a line, created to make you think you were special and to manipulate you to do things.

I am sorry, he is an arse who used you. Do not give him any more of your thought. Get yourself distracted with something else quick.”

This with bells on. He was lying to you when he said that. He said what he thought you wanted to hear.

CollagenQueen · 26/07/2023 17:11

He's not even cooked yet. Date real men would be my advice.

DatingDinosaur · 26/07/2023 17:23

By your own admission he's a bad boy. He had his fun with you then moved on to pastures new. He'll ghost them too when he's had his fun.

That's what bad boys do.

KarrieKoKo · 27/07/2023 00:30

My advice is go back to the nice guys! He’s obviously finished up with you and moved on. Don’t take it personally , you won’t be last person he’ll do this to

determinedtomakethiswork · 27/07/2023 00:35

I dread to think what those things were that he said he's never done with someone else. I agree with the others that he was lying through his teeth as far as that was concerned.

The thing is with some people, you never ever get the truth out of them and you can drive yourself crazy. Whenever you think of him, try to write everything you're thinking down and then do something to occupy yourself. You've had a narrow escape of the sky.

DelphiniumBlue · 27/07/2023 00:49

Well , this is the second time he's disappeared on you. Make sure there isn't a third time.

Pyaar · 27/07/2023 11:07

OP I've been ghosted a few times and it hurts like hell. Not just bad boys do it in my experience, it's been various types and ages! so I have no advice whatsoever but it will hurt less in time.

I've also wasted my time on a younger bad boy type and bitterly regretted it. Sorry you're going through this 🙁

JustAnotherUsey · 27/07/2023 11:14

Yeah I agree. The doing things with you that he's never done with others is a line. Used to make you feel special. He's used you and moved on now I'm afraid.

wendyjoy · 27/07/2023 11:25

How do you know he did things to you he's never done with other women? That there is one big fat lie.. men learn from other women.

Turquoisa80 · 27/07/2023 11:30

How did he ghost you..can you send a text message and write down your feelings and see what happens. Obviously if he totally ignores you then that's your answer, yr didn't want to go further. Move on and distract yourself, become busy, date other men etc

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