Middle Aged Dating

[daterlater]

I'm in my early 50s and on a dating site. I think I have dating fatigue.

In my 40s I went on lots of dates and met some men I liked. I had some short term relationships due to the men not knowing what they wanted and not wanting to commit. Yes I was dating the wrong ones.

I'm back on a site now and I'm thinking I am not sure I can be bothered. It would be lovely to have a partner but my libido isn't great.No dates so far or any chats even.

Anyone else got dating fatigue?

Early 50s too. I just can't be bothered to be fair. Everyone I have spoken to online is either a weirdo or ten years older than they say.

Men my age are looking at much younger women (30+).

12 years ago I was 50 and single . I met a lot of weirdos on dating sites but on Plenty of Fish I found DH who is a lovely weirdo! We have been together ever since. It’s just pot luck I think.

Yes, same. Early 50's and finding it so incredibly difficult to even strike up a chat with anyone decent. Think this might be the end of the road in terms of dating. I don't think I've got the heart to keep trying. How sad is that?!

I'm with you there. I'm 52, dipped in and off the date sites for the last few years. To be fair I have met some great guys on there but when I went back on a few months ago it's not the same as it was even five years ago. The men are grim, you can be having a normal conversation one second then they ask a completely inappropriate question she I think here we go! I'm actually quite happy on my own with my dog. If I meet someone I click with when I'm out and about then great but I've realised I'm not going to meet my prince online.

I put an ad on telegraph dating had over 500 replies most of which were very nice or seemed it but god I could not be bothered not atall. I had two dates with two men but one had been cleaned out by his ex and I cd see it was going to be stressful and the other lived in Italy and asked me why I had a horse for what purpose 🤩 my great friend is a vociferous dater has had a plethora of dates but they all seem mediocre

I honestly don't get the men who message you, start to engage in chat but then either a) reply in one or two word responses or b) don't ask you a single question about yourself. I find it excruciating and often want to challenge them on their lack of effort. Surely they are never successful with this type of exchange?!

I went on a date last week. Spent an hour and a half over coffee talking about himself, his ex, his in-laws, his job, his kids. Only at the very end did he ask me if I had children. Which I had already told him. I got out as fast as I could. He later messaged me asking for a 2nd date and said he had had a great time 🙄. I declined.

Yep 50 something too and it’s pretty grim out there.

I get quite a few matches with OLD but most of them don’t actually reply. Of those who do, most are either monosyllabic or start sleazy sex talk within a few days.

There has been a smell handful that I’ve managed to have really good communication with but then once a date was arranged, decided I needed an almost naked photo sent to me as a treat 🤷‍♀️

Ive had 3 dates so far - first one lovely bloke but seemed desperate to settle down within weeks. Second talked about himself non stop then told me he would pay the bill on his company credit card and claim it back on expenses and the third one turned up looking like he’d just been doing the gardening and said absolutely nothing.

I’m still trying to be optimistic but i don’t really expect much anymore.

Oh so much this!! It's awful isn't it? What is wrong with some of these men? Seriously? Even the ones that you think might be ok turn out jus weird once you actually get to the talking stage 🤦‍♀️

I'm a busy professional, with a full time job plus I also run my own business (separate to my job). I'm well respected in both fields and run lectures and courses in both...I've even done a couple of TED Talks (my reason for saying this will become clear in a moment!)

The latest OLD chap was going ok...we had chatted for a couple of days and had got to the point of arranging a date! I thought 'great' - haven't got this far in months! Then, he suddenly became fixated by the fact that I live near (about 10 miles) a town that is renowned locally for being (ahem!!) less than prosperous shall we say...and has a reputation apparently for producing people with '3-digits' (his description!!

This is all news to me as I've only recently moved to this county, so don't know anything about the area and haven't even heard of this place 🤷‍♀️ However, he has since bombarded me with 'banter' about me having two heads or deformed hands/feet etc. It is ridiculously annoying and immature (I'm in my 50s and he is 61 ffs!)

Needless to say I've expressed my disappointment and binned him off 🤦‍♀️😩 (obviously it was 'my' lack of humour that was the issue 🤣)

I feel like I need a makeover or something to feel attractive. I've lost my dating mojo.

@daterlater dont bother they’re all dreadful 😂😂😂😂😂

Being single isn't bad I'm early 30s ans not bothered

@daterlater that sounds like a great idea to boost your confidence whether you decide to date anybody or not bother. Go for it!

There are a few social groups and walking groups where you get to meet lots of people. Worth a shot for some real interaction

To be honest, if you haven’t got much of a libido and can’t be bothered with it then why bother? I would focus more on doing things that make you happy and seeing friends or making new ones. Personally I don’t think men and women have a great deal in common once you take sex out of the equation.

@Milyt - yes, I'm wondering the same. I do miss cuddles and someone to text/have a conversation with though.

@Milyt yes that could be true my best social demographic is gay men perfect company look and smell nice funny as hell and no sex brilliant