I love someone else

[Whyamineverhappy]

I know this makes me a terrible person but I’m in love with someone else.

Been with my partner on and off for a number of years. We have always had issues due to his lack of commitment. We don’t live together and never will (his choice), we only see each other twice or three times a week (his choice) it’s basically never moved out of first gear. It’s all very surface level stuff. We have had lovely times together, nice holidays etc but it’s just not enough for me.

Now I’ve found myself in a situation where I have fell for someone else. I never went out looking for it, it’s just happened. I can’t stop thinking about this man. He is everything I’ve ever wanted. I know I need to break it off with my partner but I don’t know how. I don’t know if it would even work with this other guy.

I’m confused

You are not a terrible person. The relationship you are in, clearly isn't meeting your needs, so regardless of this other man, you need to call it a day with your current partner.

Just be honest. Your relationship is not enough for you and he is unwilling to take it any further. It has run its course so end it as kindly as you can.

If you end it then it had to be enough even if you are going to be single. You have to end it because its not good enough, not because something else looks better. Becayse the chances are you are NOT going to end up with guy number 2.

It will be but a brief conversation that will free you up to a potential lifetime of happiness. You will never know if you don’t take the chance.

Yes it will be difficult to say, but there is nothing wrong with coming to the conclusion that your present relationship isn’t working for you. And saying so.

Your partner may feel the same.

Set yourself free and go have fun with this other man.
Be straight with your partner and tell him to his face that the relationship isn't working for you anymore.

Yeah I think it’s a case of it’s just not working. I have tried to hold out and see if things would change if he would give me more but I feel it’s never going to happen. I can’t stay in this same position forever

You've done nothing wrong. The relationship has gone as far as it can with the level of commitment hes prepared to give you. As a PP said, he's just not meeting your needs. If he was that bothered he would strive to give you more. If you continue as you are, you won't be happy. The only option is yo break it off. Whether something comes of the guy you've fallen for is here nor there...

I can’t stop thinking about this man. He is everything I’ve ever wanted. I know I need to break it off with my partner but I don’t know how. I don’t know if it would even work with this other guy.

It's fantastic that meeting this other man has given you the nudge you need to realise what's missing from your current relationship. You have been compromising too much for too long.

As you know, you might be joining up the dots a bit too hastily with the other man, who just represents everything you've been longing for but might come with a whole stack of different snags.

First things first, drop the dead weight.

Good luck!

How do you know you love the other guy and does he feel the same?

Even without him you know it’s not going anywhere with your current bloke so just tell him you’re breaking up with him.

your partner has been useless to you, no commitment and messing you around. either way, you need to end it with him. whether you end up with new man is another question