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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Male friend keeps reminiscing

31 replies

Tarsaurus · 24/07/2023 13:52

I have a male friend who I have recently got back in touch with …. He added me back on Facebook.

He keeps messaging reminiscing about our time together 5 years ago and said my husband looks like a nice guy and can I say hi to him from him?

is this a-bit odd?

OP posts:

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 25/07/2023 15:48

Tarsaurus · 24/07/2023 14:30

Nope doesn’t know my husband. He hasn’t ever met him. Said he looks like a nice guy in pictures?!

We were best mates and ended up liking me but nothing happened between us.

That's him fishing to see if you're happy with him or not.
If you weren't it would be easy to say 'agh he's not, he never helps me?, he's changed etc' then he'd offer to meet to talk about it and an affair would start

BiscuitsandPuffin · 25/07/2023 16:26

Tarsaurus · 25/07/2023 15:41

I didn't mind re-connecting. We were good mates. I just wasn't sure if his questions were odd.
I haven't re-connected with a friend before so wasn't sure what was normal or not.

But surely you know it's not normal because otherwise all your other friends who you've known for a long time would constantly be doing it as well, whether you've lost touch in the intervening years or not is irrelevant.

He's obsessed with you and constantly relating things now to things that happened in your past.

You know it's off or you wouldn't be posting.

Trust your instincts.

Original poster

Tarsaurus · 25/07/2023 17:42

I find it abit weird how I’m being asked questions about my partner and relating things yes.
but I’m not getting obsessed vibes?

He’s not complimented me. He takes ages to reply. The only positive thing he said to me was he’s really happy for me that my career has took off.

The second paragraph contradicts the first paragraph hence why it’s confusing and I don’t know what’s normal!

OP posts:

BevCallardsMerkin · 25/07/2023 17:57

I think you're being a bit disingenuous to be honest. Plenty of people here are saying they think it's weird and you're giving it ol' wide-eyed "but he's in a relationship!". How's your own relationship, OP?

Original poster

Tarsaurus · 25/07/2023 18:20

My relationship is fine. I’m happy.
I’ve always been disingenuous about men’s feelings towards me. I don’t quite believe it until it comes out of their mouth.

i don’t believe it because I can’t see it and it would disappoint me as it was nice reconnecting.

OP posts:

grabitwithbothhands · 26/07/2023 08:25

Even if his intentions are purely innocent, the sporadic nature of the replies would get on my nerves a bit TBH, I don't really believe anyone is that busy that they can't find 5 mins to reply to a message.
At the end of the day, if you are enjoying reconnecting then go with it, just don't act surprised if it takes a turn for the creepy.

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