I have been estranged from my brother for 2 years. The last time I saw my niece and nephew, they were toddlers. He is verbally abusive and nasty and I couldn't have him in my life anymore. He would ask for help with his dramas and then we wouldn't hear from him for weeks.
The last time he asked for my support was following an argument he'd had with our other sibling. I said I wasn't getting involved and he became verbally abusive and nasty. He also said things about my children.
Then, last week, my ex husband took our children to a play centre and they bumped into my brother, my niece and nephew. Our kids all recognised each other and played together which is lovely and sad all at the same time. My ex spoke to my brother who made a couple of underhanded remarks about me, showing that he hasn't changed.
Since then, my kids have been upset with me because I've told them they can't see their cousins again any time soon. I feel so guilty. They have asked if my ex will take them to see them, but I don't want my children in my brother's company because of the things he's said and I genuinely don't trust him to be nice to them if he finds them even slightly irritating. It's so complicated.
How do I explain this to my children? Obviously without giving too much away? I never want them to know that their Uncle said negative things about them, but they don't understand why I'm being so obstructive about them seeing their cousins again. Although I'm obviously happy for them to see their cousins, I'm not happy for them to see my brother or for me to see him. Our parents are not able to care for our children due to their health issues and disabilities so it's not like we could leave them with their grandparents for playdates either.