Starting again at 40 :(

[username098765]

After weeks of going backwards and forwards I have left my dp. Well kind of a mutual decision. He is a selfish d**k and never put me first. I gave the relationship my all and got nothing back. I live in a small town and I know I'll be bumping into him all the time.

I'm 40 and now wondering how to pick myself up and start again. In a way I'm excited for what the future holds but also worried I'll never find anyone to share my life with. Obviously I'm not looking for anything for a very long time but I'm just scared I'll be on my own forever. I know 40 isn't old by any means but I just don't know if I have the energy to start again.

Just focus on yourself just now. You will be fine. Be good to yourself. Get some rest, exercise , eat nice food , see friends etc.

This is a horrible period but you will come through it and will be a better stronger person after having some time alone to reflect what will make you happy in life and what you really want.

I got divorced at 43 and dated a bit but mainly focused on my house, child and career. Then at 46 when I wasn't looking I met my fiancé and I have never been happier. Life is uncomplicated now and we have the same vision for our future together. There are lots of nice people out there but just don't be in a rush for anything. Take your time and get yourself happy and content first . If Mr Right comes along he will be a lovely bonus and there's a good chance you will meet someone great in the future . But please enjoy being alone for a while. It will help you to heal yourself and not take any crap off anyone on future . Keep your standards high and you will do great x

Hi @username098765 well done for leaving a bad relationship.
I met my DH at 40 years old and went on to have a DD.
Don't be worried hun, you're more wiser now and know what you want in a relationship xx

Write a list of all the things you want to try/do more of. It might be music to listen to round the house, things you like eating, a place you'd like to visit, a hobby you'd like to try. Do those things. Fall in love with your life.

I love this, yes
Fall in love with life again
Only this time make it yours, doing things you like, enjoy being in your own company, relish having your own space, making your own choices and decisions from now on

Thank you. It's going to take a lot to pick myself up and get to where I want to be. I feel a massive weight has been lifted but also my heart is physically hurting. Unfortunately he is staying in our home until he can find somewhere else which will mean another gut wrench when he actually goes. I know deep down it's for the best but doesn't make it much easier. I have a good job, fab family and friend around me so hopefully this will help. One day at a time I guess x

Yes, it will get easier in time. Be kind to yourself. I recommend having a few glasses of wine and going out to see the new barbie movie with a girlfriend. Also wear something pink!
Have a well deserved break from men

I met a friend for a drink tonight which was lovely. Definitely want to see the Barbie movie too!! I'm going away with my family this wknd which will be a great distraction. Onwards and upwards!

🥂 to that!

Have you got kids and do you want them? I'm finding I'm way more relaxed now I've decided not to have kids. The panic I felt in my early to mid thirties is pretty much gone.

I've been busy filling my life with hobbies and interests and trying to level up in my career, and it sounds like you're doing the same! I'm sure you will be fine starting again, and feeling excitement is good!

I have 3 dd's, they are all in their teens. That I'm grateful for! I know it's early days and there will be ups and downs but today I woke up feeling ok. Work is a great distraction too. I've been managing to avoid him at home by going to bed early etc. Time is a great healer as they say.