Hello,
I'm desperately seeking advice as am at my witts end..
My Mum and Dad split when I was around 17. Mum had an affair and a mental breakdown. I was 17 (the eldest child) when I found her after she took an overdose. Eventually she left me and my two brothers with my Dad, she took our youngest brother with her (he was 8). With the money from the divorce, she rented a flat and spent the rest on holidays. Us children were in the middle and it really was very hard for us all. She turned into a very bitter, jealous and paranoid person. The things that me and my brothers had to deal with were awful. Skip forward to today, I am 34 with two children, a daughter who is 6 years old and a 7 month old baby boy. My Mum has lived with my grandma for 8 years after she stopped paying her rent as she ran out of money. She believes she is a millionaire! Although she has absolutely no money at all, refuses to claim benefits! And wont even set up a bank account as she thinks someone has stoled her identity. She has all of these crazy delusions. She says her money will be with her soon and this has been going on for 8 years now with her having absolutely nothing. I have tried and tried with her to see sense. I have tried getting her help but she doesn't believe she's mentally unwell and gets very upset if mental health is ever mentioned. Thing is, this situation is absolutely destroying me. I pay for her food, I take her out, I buy her things she needs like clothes etc. I feel like I have another child to look after and am coming to a point where I am not enjoying my life anymore. I see her at least 2-3times a week. Not for just a cuppa. She will want to spend the whole day with us etc. It's all too much for me as she drains me emotionally from going on about the same thing. She thinks someone is controlling her, had stolen her money and shes a millionaire etc. I feel like I am being the parent to her. My brothers help with money once a week but other than that they don't see her often. She has no friends and a sister who isn't interested in helping either. The pressure I am feeling is unreal and I have my two kids and husband to think of. I guess I just want some advice as to what I can do? It's an impossible situation. Nothing I do helps. She's in the same situation as she was 8 years ago.. nothing has changed. She expects everyone to support her. It's crazy! And because we know she's mentally unwell we feel like we have to help but not it's to my detriment. Has anyone dealt with anything like this? And advice on how I can cope better? My brain tells me to move away and cut all ties (may be my brothers would have to then help!) Sorry for the rushed message! Would appreciate any help at all. Thanks.