Hi all,
I guess I'm wondering what love in a long-term relationship should be like. I've been with my partner (we're both in our late 20s) for several years now and this is the first healthy relationship I've had. Before that, I was abused, or just with people that felt very passionate but were ultimately very volatile, just based on sex or I was in love with an idealised version of them.
With my current partner, I know I love them but I can't shake this worry that I don't know if what I'm feeling is 'right'. I question whether I love them 'enough' based on what I read about how people feel about their partners on here etc. We're engaged and I can appreciate this is the best relationship I've had. I can also appreciate that previous LTRs felt 'intense' because of the constant ups and downs.
I know I love my current partner. I feel comfortable with them, calmer, seen. I'm an introvert so I get tired of being around other people but with DP it's like having an extension of myself. I feel loved, supported. We have fun together. I would not choose to spend time with anyone else over DP. We're best friends. I'm drawn to them. I miss DP when not around. I'm sexually attracted. I want the best for DP and would do anything to ensure they have an amazing life. We have the same values. I'm excited by the idea of building a stronger relationship together in the future. I've not got eyes for anyone else. I know the grass isn't greener and I'm just not interested in that. I want to be with DP and couldn't imagine life with anyone else.
Yet I get anxious and worried that I should be feeling 'more'? But then, I don't know what more is? There's nothing that I can say 'if it was like X it'd be better'. I have diagnosed MH issues which I'm in therapy for, so wonder if its that. Sometimes I'm sure it's my MH issues, other times the worries feel very real. I just worry because I don't feel our love is all consuming I guess. I would say we don't have the fireworks of previous relationships, even though I can safely say those fireworks were wrong for me and I love/care for DP much, much more.
I just don't want to deprive DP of something that is all consuming or find out that I am not feeling strongly enough ifyswim and then have to ruin both our lives.