feeling overwhelmed/tired/sad - sorry for the long post!
so we recently just had another baby, DS is 7weeks old. We also have a 3.5yr old boy. Myself and my husband seem to be at each other’s throats and it’s really getting me down. Yesterday we were supposed to be going away for a few hours as my husband wanted to look at something. I was happy to be getting out of the house (and wearing a pair of jeans rather than leggings) although I was a bit stressed trying to get us all out of the house. (Asked my husband to get the car seat out of the car 3 times and to put socks and shoes on our son. He managed the socks, I ended up putting on the shoes!) I had packed a little picnic and a flask of tea and was looking forward to the day once we were in the car. I suggested taking our older son to a soft play on the way back. I was met with a tone and a shitty attitude which I responded with a tone and a shitty attitude. (little one is going through a growth spurt so I’ve had little sleep so I am easily annoyed) anyway the argument escalated and I ended up blurting out that I feel really overwhelmed and unsupported, I carry the mental load and I need help around the house. He ended up turning the car around and we all landed home. He then took our son swimming and was gone for about 6hours, didn’t even ask if I wanted to go. I spent those 6hours up in the bedroom with our son, feeding, changing and winding an unsettled baby. I felt very sad and lonely. There wasn’t much sleep last night either. We still aren’t speaking today, he left with our oldest son this morning and didn’t even tell me where they were going when I asked! So lonely feels set in and I’ve headed back to bed with the little one. Our main topic of disagreement is the divide of chores in the house. He is so unaware of the things that need to be done in a house. I’m not a clean freak but there are basic things that need to be done, clean kitchen, bathroom, laundry, hoover! I’ve showed him numerous times how to use the washing machine and he still wouldn’t think to put on a load of laundry! He’s a fantastic dad and he does bits and pieces outside the house but I need help in the house. If he was working, I would suck it up and get on with it but he’s off work for the summer so I feel like the household chores should be shared even more so now with a lot of my attention going to our newborn. It’s like we have this argument on repeat about the house but he actually thinks he does his fair share. I don’t know what the point of my post is. I think I just needed to type it out and get it out of my head. If I try look at it from his point of view I’m sure he thinks that he can’t speak to me as I am so cranky, like walking on egg shells and that anything he does is wrong or not good enough (example - asked him to clean the kitchen one day, came in to it half cleaned and had to finish it but not without telling him it was only half done - dirty pots sitting on cooker, countertops not wiped down). He is a great man with a great heart but sometimes I feel that everyone else comes first and he’s not listening to what I need. I wonder will it get better, am I being petty, are we just drifting further apart? I’m exhausted mentally and physically.