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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Pushed away & I have flirted

3 replies

jasper333 · 23/07/2023 09:54

Me and partner live separately. For a few weeks I have felt his behaviour change and he hasn't been that bothered about seeing me, working overtime, hobbies etc.

The last couple weekends he spent with my son and I things have been tense.

Recently he's had something horrible happen to him and he's just shut me out. Refusing to talk to me at all. Says I haven't done anything wrong but just needs to be alone.

I've really not handled it well and I replied to an unanswered msg and struck up a conversation with an old friend and there's been flirting.

I don't think my relationship is going to work but we haven't yet had that conversation as he's shut me off.

I feel guilty and also very disappointed that this has all panned out the way it has.

My plan is to wait until he's ready to talk and then end things with him. But part of me doesn't want to as we were good but lots of things have built up and maybe there's too much drama to get past now.

OP posts:
Dery · 23/07/2023 10:39

You’re not really a partner, are you? If things were good before but you know he’s had something horrible happen to him, then it’s pretty poor behaviour on your part to make a fuss about giving him space when requested and immediately strike up a flirtation with someone else. Sounds like you don’t really care about him, OP. You’re certainly behaving like you don’t. If that’s your attitude to him, fair enough - you don’t owe him a relationship - but why not just end it now so he knows where he stands?

mrandmrsrobinson · 23/07/2023 12:19

Well you're lovely. Please dump him and do him a huge favour by removing yourself from his life.

jasper333 · 23/07/2023 17:00

I guess the situation is way more complicated than I can ever explain on here so I completely get the comments. Thank you.

OP posts:
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